Feel sorry for dds sm

[mouseymummy]

Me and dd14s dad split when she was 6 months old, he married his wife when my dd was 4. The sm is bloody brilliant with my dd and has been a great help to my dd when she's going through stuff at school etc. We get on ok, as and when we see each other.

The issue is that my ex blames his dw every time he cancels. He sees dd every other Saturday, from 10ish til 5ish. Never over night (I've tried to encourage this but he's always got an excuse). He will say that his dw has arranged for them to go to a wedding and dd isn't invited, apparently her going on her own isn't an option.

The cancellation text always reads "dw has arranged xxxxx on Saturday so I can't have dd" always.

My concern is that dd is going to associate her dad cancelling on his dw and I don't want that relationship ruined.

I've tried to tell him that dd will end up hating her but he just doesn't get it!!!!

Is there anything I can do here. She's 14 and I think, she's very close to no longer going to see him (although she will probably go around her birthdays and for her Xmas visit to get her presents. They always go overboard on her at these times, whereas I don't.

I don't have any way yo contact his dw either so can't discuss with her, my dd doesn't have her number either.

I would say at 14 she is pretty clued up to her df failings.

April, she is certainly starting to see them, which makes me very sad.

Very odd she doesn't have her number. Has she asked? If they get along so well, I would have thought that at 14 -assuming she has a mobile - , she would have asked for it. Has she refused to give it to her?

My dd says she hasn't asked. She says she doesn't need it as she won't speak to her anyway. When I asked why she thinks that, she's just shrugged at me and gone back to her game.

Could you ask him for her number, saying you'd like to thank her for all the help she's given DD?

I bet you be tells his DW that you won't allow any more contact with DD.

Typical lazy dad who will wonder why DD can't be bothered with him in later life.