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Step-parenting

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Advice needed!

4 replies

Mark78 · 05/08/2018 09:30

My partner blames herself for the failure of her former marriage although her ex was generally a sleeze bag who cheated on her and got the other woman pregnant. Since then she’s been over compensating by pandering to every whim of her daughters 10 and 16. The eldest is quite lazy, selfish and at times ignorant (I’m sure this isn’t the same for all teens?) She merely asks for expensive trainers iPhones etc and my partner bends over backwards to get her what she wants. If she can’t get it she sulks and I can just see my OH heart breaking. Recently she’s been obsessed with her school leavers prom which cost hundreds of pounds and a lot of stress on my OH getting everything just right for her. My OH has recently been diagnosed with Chrons and has had to give up work. She’s been very ill yet her girls do nothing to help around the house, even little things like make my OH a cup of coffee. Despite this her eldest only thinks about herself and talks to my OH very disrespectfully at times. The youngest even though at 10 is waited on hand and foot. Essentially both girls wrap my OH around her finger and she knows it. Whenever either girl is disrespectful or rude I intervene. I’m not overly harsh or neither do I shout but my OH immediately defends them or contradicts me in front of them. We’ve been together three years now and I’ve been there for her girls helping them through many issues bullying etc and we have a good relationship generally and they see me as a step Dad although I’m not married to their Mum which I feel honoured about. Although seeing the woman I love being walked over by her own kids is heartbreaking. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Spanglyprincess1 · 05/08/2018 12:26

Honestly you ahve a dp issue not a stepchildren issue. She is responsible for their behaviour towards her. If she dosnt want to fix it then there is little you can do.
Teenagers generally are difficult but they need boundaries

Wdigin2this · 07/08/2018 23:30

Only your OH can fix this, and if she doesn't do it soon, life will get really difficult!

Mark78 · 07/08/2018 23:51

Thing is though she knows it too. It’s like she’s in some kind of denial. Whenever I bring it up she gets defensive and accuses me of not liking her kids. We otherwise have a great relationship. If anything could
Jeopardise us it’s this.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 08/08/2018 02:43

She obviously had self esteem issues if she blames herself for a marriage ending when she was cheated on like that.

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