dds and Dd

[foreversleeping]

So every other weeekend we have my DP son come for a sleep over and twice he comes over after school, recently he's been asking if my Dd can sleep at his house he's already asked his mum without asking us if it was ok with us, anyway I seem to think it's a bit weird as she's only 3 but he seems to think it's completely normal for her to sleep at his house
Might I add that my DD isn't his child so that probably why he thinks it's normal as he raises her as his own

Am wrong in thinking it's slightly weird or am i over thinking it?

My kids' half sibling has come over and spent the night at my house. It was their sibling who asked as she was understandably curious about their home and life when they were not there. My kids wanted to show their other home too and it was nice for me to get to know their sibling they had spoken so much about.

My kids have also spent the night with their step siblings' father.

When I was 9 I remember my half sister who was thrn 5 on my dad's side staying with me and my mum camping in the garden. We both loved it and now on our 40s we still talk about it.

You clearly have to have a level of trust to agree it but I wouldn't say it was weird.

It’s not weird as it’s his stepsister, he obviously loves her and probably wants to show her all his toys and bedroom at his house. If you’re not comfortable with your DD sleeping over then would you be ok for her to just go to play for an afternoon?
My DS is 3 and my DD is 8... DD is not ExH’s DD but she will occasionally have sleepovers at ExH’s house as her brother wants her there.
I think it’s nice really

It probably is ‘weird’ but I think it’s really nice and if it’s ok with all the adults and the kids want to do it, it’d be a great thing for him to be able to show his sister his other home and make everything feel a bit less separate

Over thinking that it's weird.

It is sweet that the two children get on with each other so well one wants to show the other their other home. Parents forget siblings - whether full, half or step - have relationships between themselves without the parents. My parents and step parents are dead so as an adult the relationships with my siblings including half and step are based on those I had with them as a child/young adult. I know adults who have absolutely no relationship with their half and step siblings as they didn't build up any connection as children.

My

I just really worry about my dd, i think I've always had a trust issue with letting her go and not be with me, we went though a lot when she was a baby involving her really dad, I think I just panic that something could go wrong and I'm not there for her even though I know she'll be fine DSS mom is a nurse so I know she'll be fine if anything happens 😩

My half sister has been coming down my dad’s every weekend with me and my other siblings since she was three. She’s fourteen now and my dad has even taken her on holidays. It’s not weird. It’s only weird if you make it weird.

I also don't know his mum very well, I've only seen and spoke to her on very few occasions,
Maybe I'm overthinking this all 🙈

Speak to his mum and see if she's okay with it. 3 is a bit young for a sleepover with non family...but maybe try and get to know her.

I would be anxious about my 3 year old staying with an adult I didn't know.

It's understandable that be wants her to sleepover though. I'd agree to time there...but not a sleepover just yet.

How old is he?

He's 8 now and I think that's why I'm panicking be she's will be with his mums and I really don't know either of them at all I've only spoke to them when I've had too, they seem nice enough but it just panics me as I know what she's like with stuff as well x

I think the situation in general is not weird, it would be nice if more families got on like this. I think 3 is very young for a sleepover though unless child is very confident, so that would be my only issue.

Don't beat yourself up, 3 years old is very young. Could they start with her having tea there for instance rather than spending the night?

Swingofthings
That's what I'm thinking I don't want to throw her in the deep end and her panic or something goes wrong x

It's very sweet he wants that...but perhaps spending time during the day first. Or you and his DM take both children out to play...or to a family friendly restaurant while you chat and get to know her a little better first.

Hi Forever
It’s such a lovely idea and an opportunity to help your DSS bring the two strands of his life together.
As others have said ab overnight might be a bit much at three but a play date or the like could work well.
Why not contact his mum (or have your OH make contact) and see what she thinks.
I’m happy for you that ‘blending’ is going well :-)

So me, his dad and his mum have agreed that she is very young to sleep over, we are going to start it out with dinners, play dates type things, and just spending as much time as they can together, they absolutely adore each other which obviously makes it hard to say no to them but I love how much they just wanna spent time together
Thank you for all your advice xx

Awww....that’s so bloody cute!

I wish I could feel like my DHs ExW was someone I’d let my child spend time with. Alas, she’s a bit weird herself. Shame, because she’s a childminder so she must be good with kids.

I think it’s terribly good of you all (adults) to be making an effort to put the children’s relationships first. Good for you 😊💕

DP and his ex have had an awful time getting along but thankfully they sorted it all out and we just wanna do what's best for the kids, they love each other so much 🙈

I think it’s lovely that DSS wants that but personally I wouldn’t let my DD stay at DSDs mums house just because I don’t know her well enough. We see her for 5 minute handovers eow but for me that doesn’t mean I know her as a person and I don’t really think she’s be too keen either

Just curious User, how well does your step-child's mother know you? Or is your partner always there so you are not looking after her child, given she'll only see you for 5 mins at handover every fortnight too?

My DP isn't always here when his ds comes over, we've spent a few days together as a whole family, eg birthday, sports day, family days out, I just don't know her that well, ive only been around my dss and his mum since the beginning of the year even though we've been together for nearly 2 years,

Dd has been none stop asking me to stay at his she's a very confident girl but we've told them not for a while yet as she's too little

I also don't want to step on anyone's toes and make things more difficult for his with his mums,

So I just kinda take a step back and only get involved when needed too

we just wanna do what's best for the kids, they love each other so much

I love this ^....^

It's just so cute and lovely. I hope you both stay together ... because it would be very sad if the kids weren't able to see each other anymore.

It's also great him and Ex are getting along better.

We all love the children very much so we just wanna make it as normal and comfortable for them both as we can

We don't want any arguments to happen that will affect the children

They love spending time together and we love seeing them play together and being happy