DSC’s grand parents

[Sessy19]

This could be quite out-ing, but I’m interested in any feedback/advice.

DH is in the military and currently overseas. He would normally have his DC (DSS12 & DSD8) EOW/E. While he’s away, they stay at home with their mother.

DHs parents live in France since retirement about 8yrs ago. They come back for the summer and live with SIL about 30mins from DSC.

During previous holidays, we’ve had DSC stay for a couple of weeks, and we regularly travel via SILs so that DSC can see their cousins (they are identical ages).

But since PIL have been retired, they would only see DHs children if we bring them to SILs.

They have use of SILs car, so they could go and see DSC, and sometimes they’re even STAYING with old neighbours and friends in the same neighbourhood as DSC.

They have a good relationship with SILs kids-they all live together in the summer and they babysit while SIL and BIL work etc.

ExW has sort of complained to us that she thinks DSC are missing out with the GPs, especially since DH is away now. They won’t see their grandparents until Christmas. They even speak to DSC and say they’re going to see them soon on the phone etc, but then don’t arrange to pick them up for an afternoon or whatever.

It’s really none of my business, but I just think it’s strange that they invest in their other grandchildren. They’ve always had a good relationship with ExW, and they’re always sending cards and calling DSC and ExW....but it just makes no sense.

DH doesn’t want to interfere but I know he feels his parents favour their other gkids. Their prerogative. Should I do/say anything or is this all none of my business?

My MIL is the same OP. And I'm with DH still. We have two DC and DHs sister (SIL) has one.

MIL babysits 3 full days per week so SIL (her daughter) can work but we're lucky if we see her once a month.

It's shit but there's nothing we can do. In reality I think that MIL is very tired from all the babysitting (She's 70!) and works part time too and she hasn't got enough to go round but SIL is an attention seeker so she "wins"

Try not to be hurt and tell your DSC that "Gran is very busy"

Don't let the kids know that their grandparents are simply unfair.

I thinks the children have already worked it out.

SILs children are little brats as well, so will say to ours that ‘this is what we bought with our pocket money from Nanny & GDad this week...and next week we’re getting this...’ etc.

Ours take it with good grace. And ExWs parents are quite involved.

I want to confront PILs because they’re so obvious, but it would definitely start something, and I couldn’t do that to either DH nor DSCs. Eurgh. I’ll write a few strongly worded emails to not send!! 😂😂