I am struggling and need some other step mums to help me feel Im not alone, I have a 8 year old step child from hell Ive been dating her dad for 3 years now and I feel my relationship is on the line all thanks to his child.
It started off amazingly I was on cloud 9 and I found his little girl quite difficult but thought Id give her time and space as this was a big deal for her and as I have 2 children could sympathize with how they all felt and I put my feelings aside to ensure the kids were put first and felt secure and happy.
I started to notice little cracks forming when she would come crying to me saying my kids hurt her and I felt terrible as I'd tell my children off without looking into it till I caught her in the act lying and saying to my daughter give me what I want or I will tell my dad you hit me. I was furious and had words but she would lie and say but daddy I didnt and start crying.
he still carries her and each time I say cant you just walk she bounces in front of him till he picks her up and I get the smug look and she smiles over his shoulder so he cant see.
I find I cook her tea and she spits in her food and gags on it after I cook what she has asked for and now me and my partner have spoken about marriage she said daddy youre choosing her over me and broke down after she came over to me and said Im going to make my dad get back with my mum and you cant marry him, she was like a miniature devil child to the point I broke down then cos I was in shock. He even tried to keep her happy by saying she can walk down the aisle before me I though what the hell is this nonsense!!! she hits her dad and screams and shouts when she doesn't get her own way she constantly rolls her eyes and tells me to shut up and whatever s me a lot!!! I'm so unhappy when she is around but I absolutely adore her dad and even he has admitted she is so naughty but hes torn and said if he keeps on at her she wont want to come over but she is extremely clever and knows what she is doing and is quite proud to point it out to me on the sly. I have waited a long time to find the love of my life I really have but what can I do about this situation cos I'm worried I will have to lose him cos I cannot take much more of his child and both my kids are done as well. I have boundaries and respect in my house and she clearly has none of this, Ive never met her mum and all i hear is how she gives her anything she wants and always gets her own way but I cant judge a woman I have never met this would be unfair ..... please help me as I feel like a step mum from hell myself and should I be trying harder