Anyone find it difficult when your dcs are treated differently?

[easylover]

I'm lucky in some ways but not in others. Both my parents are dead, my sister doesn't bother with us, I feel bad because my 2 dcs 13 and 15 have no grandparents on either side, my sister doesn't bother with them, but I have got my mil, she's a lovely lady and I get on with her, but were as I realise she's not going to have the same bond as she does with her own grandchildren I just hate how she's so flippant with them and just doesn't seem to care. My dp is a caring guy he's taken them both on though they do see their own dad every other weekend. But it's even obvious with him he treats mine differently, he doesn't want to upset his 2 but he'll say things to mine about the mess they make or this and that. I'm really struggling with this. Anyone else?

So things you just have to deal with, this is more of a irritating issue than a problem. If she act a certain way you can explain to your dc that’s just a side of her or she’s a bit grumpy. Family’s don’t always get on, but because they aren’t her gc you see it as worse.
I’m engaged to my oh and we have a 4 month old, his parents have from the moment they heard ignored him, they still haven’t met him, they focus all their efforts on my oh first son, they buy him things, even though my oh ex has stopped their contact, talk about him nonstop, after I just had my ds they called to talk about the other child and the ex not how’s the baby.
So it doesn’t alway matter if they are blood or not people are just focused on what they want. People could say well they had more time to bond with his first son, but that’s not true, they only saw him the first 3 months and 6 months when he was 3 because the oh ex would stop his contact. But that’s another drama lol.

I get it OP, and its now one of the main reasons (there are others) why I am LC with my MIL (and FIL as a by-product but its MIL who is the issue).

My Mil lives for her GC. She sees her teenage DGD at least twice a week and had totally ruined her (even BIL agrees). She sees dh’s two dc EOW but totally spoils them, she has turned them into spolit little brats really it’s a shame.

Anyway, been married to dh for 7 years, got together when my dc were 6 and 8 so they are both teens now. She nearly didn’t come to our wedding as dh’s exw did not allow his dh to come to our wedding so she insisted mine couldn’t come as it wasn’t fair. The problem started then really. She never even writes their names on our xmas card let alone get them anything for birthday / xmas. She only invites us to things when she knows my dc are at their dads etc. and she hates that my dh is close to them.

After about year of this I just dropped off from seeing her. I now only see her about 3 times a year and that’s enough. She only comes to our house once a year, at xmas and never brings anything for my dc even if they are here. She is always nice enough to me but never asks how my dc are. Me and dh deliberately talk about them non-stop when we see her just to watch her sit and squirm.

My kids don’t care; they think she’s batshit anyway. I am happier taking me and my dc out of the crazy to be honest but for the first few years we were married I felt very upset and took it personally (in a ‘what’s wrong with my dc kinda way’.

Gosh that sounds ridiculous mrssaphire I can't believe she doesn't even acknowledge them. 😳 I think myself lucky then.

Where are you when all this is happening?
Truat your own judgement and have the balls to call them both out on their attitude/behaviour.

Whether your kids are bothered/noticed or not is irrelevant.
You're their parent so stick up for your kids and refuse to tolerate this nonsense........try treating his kids the same in front of them , i think you'll be surprised at how quickly-and strongly-dp and his mother respond