Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Do not play fight with my son!!!

13 replies

Applecrumble79 · 31/05/2018 19:45

AIBU. My partner of 18 months tried to play fight with my 15 year old son. I don’t like it at all!!! They are not close, I guess my son accepts him as my partner and my partner accepts my son as my child. They are polite to each other but my son would rather be out with mates or on his Playstation!!!
Today my partner felt the need to pretend to play fight with my son and he himself ended up hurting his hand. I intervened verbally immediately. I explained how he could have hurt my child instead which would have been terrible. I asked my son privately how he felt and he said he was fine with it but I feel my partner pushed the boundaries. I told him not to ever do it again! Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mamatribe · 31/05/2018 19:52

If it was just playing and they are both ok and comfortable with it then let them - maybe tone it down a bit so no one gets hurt but it might be a way for them to start bonding perhaps?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 31/05/2018 19:53

You sound over the top. They were messing and they were fine with it.

SendYouUpinFlames · 31/05/2018 19:55

He's 15. He can make his own decisions. If he is fine and happy with it then leave them to bond

Secondguessingnow · 31/05/2018 19:58

I had to re read your message. It sounded like you were talking about a toddler not a 15 year old. Don't you like your partner very much?

MaisyPops · 31/05/2018 20:01

If they are both fine and happy then you need to chill out imo.
At 15 he is more than capable of saying stop if he doesn't want it.

NorthernSpirit · 31/05/2018 20:17

Sounds like you are your partners mother! You told him (your partner) not to do it again. Sounds like you are trying to parent him.

Your child is 15 years old and doesn’t have a problem with it. Cut the umbilical cord.

Jaxtellerswife · 01/06/2018 09:02

Are you feeling protective over your son and him not being bonded with your partner? You might be feeling over sensitive and somehow worried that if your partner annoys your son their relationship will be awful.
I'm a step mum and I used to worry so much that I went too far into being careful about upsetting my ss and it was just uncomfortable.
Maybe try and chill a bit unless there's other issues not stated

Applecrumble79 · 01/06/2018 14:40

Thanks Jaxtellerswife. I think you have hit the nail on the head. Maybe it’s time we do more family stuff to develop their relationship.

OP posts:
Jaxtellerswife · 01/06/2018 21:12

Just came back to see if you had got any help from anyone.
I really hope it goes well, try not to worry they will find their way.
For me once I gave up trying too much it actually got easier and bette lol. Good luck

RunningBean · 01/06/2018 21:38

My 5 year olds uncles playfight with her and her cousins, very OTT reaction unless your son had been upset by it.

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 01/06/2018 23:30

It really depends how the playfighting is. My DP does this a lot with my DS who is also 15, as he knows of no other way to interact with him, but it’s his way of trying. So I check a bit, see if it’s too silly and if DS is okay with it, and just let them get on with it. You have to give your DP and DS space to find their own way.

If you think it’s too rough, say something but not telling off, just appreciating that your DP is probably trying too. What about leaving a football or frisbee around in the garden instead?!

thegreenhen · 03/06/2018 13:37

I actually think "play" fighting between a man and teen boy where there is no or little mutual history is very unhealthy.

I think it's actually about the adult subconsciously trying to show his dominance.

I think you're right to be wary.

Applecrumble79 · 03/06/2018 14:47

THanks thegreenhen. I support you on that. I have since had a chat with my son and he did not appreciate it or like it as he doesn’t feel they are close enough for that. My son said he wasn’t in the mood for it.

I know my child and knew he probably wouldnt appreciate it!!

I have spoken to my partner in the nicest possible way and explained he was uncomfortable with it and he agreed he won’t do it again.

I am not overprotective but a mother that loves her child to all those that feel I was out of line!!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page