Pregnant and stressed

[bitzy12]

Just come on for a rant really and I know I'm going to sound horrible and selfish and the rest....

Just got back from a few days away with my dcs and dhs ds. Didn't have a good time. My dc's were fine (I thought anyway) but dh was constantly stressed with his ds. I couldn't stand dh by the end of it.

My ex collected my dcs from holiday resort, they are now away with their dad until Friday. So just travelled back with ds. He stayed with us for an extra few days so he's been with us 8 days in total. He's young. And extremely whiny. Moans about everyone and everything and tried to get other dcs in trouble.

He left this morning.

Dh has an older dd who didn't come on holiday with us as she didn't want too. She came to us on Friday and is stopping until tomorrow.

I don't ask much of her but she is a teenager. All she's done is mess the house up and complain she's bored. Dh asks her to do small jobs - empty the dishwasher mainly - but she refuses. She shares a room with my dd (who isn't here at the min) and it's an absolute tip.

Dh has just taken her out with her friend. On the way out, it was announced that she's bringing her friend back here for a sleep over. I can't deal with that tonight. I can't deal with anymore. I'm not in the mood for the teenage giggling and loud music all night. Plus the girl that's coming is a bit of a bully.

Also I've been keeping some cash aside. Dh said he needs it to take dsd out and her friend. That's pissed me off even though it's our money, not just mine. I understand dsd didn't come on holiday and he wants to take her out and treat her. That's fine, I'd do the same with my dcs. But it's just frustrated me.

Sounds daft but I'm pregnant and absolutely exhausted from the holiday (was not a relaxing one and it's well and truly tired me out, to the point where my chin has all blistered over, don't know why, exhaustion probably).

I also suffer slightly from ocd. I cleaned my house from top to bottom before we left for the holiday. Step dcs have wrecked it.

I just feel so emotional and just want some peace. Things aren't great between me and dh. We've spent too much time constantly together and are getting on each other's nerves now.

Step dcs just usually come every weekend but I just feel like I've spent too much time with the 3 of them and I'm going insane.

On top of all that, I've just asked for one small job for dh to do. Something I can't as I'm pregnant. Has he done it? Nope, just gone out and left it.

All of the above is just so petty and on any other weekend, I'd probably deal with it all. But just feel well and truly worn out by all 3 of them. I just want to be in separate rooms away from them. I'm still annoyed at the way our holiday went as I know that was the last holiday I'll get with my 2 dcs before baby arrives. The last time I'll probably get to spend proper time with them both and I felt dh just ruined it.

I'm going to try enjoy a few hours peace on my own before they return. I actually think I'm going through a slight wave of depression at the min.

Feel free to tell me to grow up cos I'm petty and being stupid. I've commented on lots of step parenting threads before and always try stick up for step children the best I can. But sometimes.....it's just so bloody hard having them around :-(

Say no to the sleepover for a start. And have a firm word with your DH about his parenting.

He might feel the same about your kids. You both need a conversation without the kids involved.

All this is my mood at the minute and the fact that it's been a stressful week. In a few days, it will all be back to normal. We don't necessarily need a conversation. Things just need to get back to normal. I know my kids frustrate him. He knows his kids frustrate me. That's just normal in any family though. We all frustrate each other from time to time. It's just been a hell of a lot to deal with over the last few days. Way more stressful and tiring than I imagined it to be.

The sleepover has pissed me off, I do feel he should of asked me however the mood I'm in, he knows it wouldn't of gone down to well anyway. I feel dsd js asking for too much at times. He's driving to pick up the friend, pay to take them to an activity and then out for lunch. But that's not enough for her. She always has to ask for more. I'm going to clear up her crap from the bedroom and make it clear that it needs to stay tidy when she comes in. It's full of dirty face wipes and all sorts.

We all have moments like this when we are fed up for whatever reason and desperately want all out of our way. I had it yesterday! DH started to moan about my losing his socks in the wash, acting like a teenager who can't find his stuff and having to blame someone. Then had to deal with the actual teenager who moaned because I had to go somewhere and he would need to walk 15 minutes to his football club. I ended up changing my plans so I could take him but of course, not even a thank you and when I told him I wasn't a taxi service, I got 'well all my friends get rides!'

Then got home, though at least it's 2 out of 3 out of the house, might get a bit of peace and quiet, got DD coming screaming and shouting because she thought she'd missed a key deadline for an application, despite me nagging her weekly for 2 months about it. Of course, somehow it was my fault again.

So much stress, much screaming, much wishing they would all disappear, a bit of feeling sorry for myself and then got over it.

Take a deep breath and think of what you could do that would make you feel better. Could you go somewhere for the day, and leave a note to your DH to say that you're leaving the place for his and his DD but that you expect the place to be cleared up when you come back and to let you know when that would be so you don't get back too early!

@swingofthings thank you, it's just been one of those for me too. I really do have a lot of time for my sdc's. I do a lot for them and spend a lot of time with them. I treat them in the same way as I do my own dc's when they are here.

It's just clearly spending so much time with them, the stress dh has caused and my pregnancy hormones do not mix well at all. It's clear to see from just looking at me that im exhausted. My eyes are black and my face is blistered. I've had a good 15 min cry and feel abit better now.

Just wish dh could see that I'm struggling i suppose. He had a little go at me before he left.

He realised that dsd is taller than me now and asked us to stand back to back. I really was not in the mood for that.

1. I don't care, I'm small....whatever.

1. I don't need her being all excited and giddy that she's taller than me, I'll never hear the end of it. She already calls me 'cute' because I'm small. It really gets on my t*ts.

1. Do I really look like I'm in the mood for this??? No I don't. But I did it anyway....as it turns out, I'm still slightly taller so thank the lord for that.

But he still had a go at my mood.
with 'omg what's up with you?' And huffed off.