Step-daughter aged 30 has been living with us rent-free since August. This was supposed to be for a week but for one reason or another has dragged on. It does seem as though she will be moving out in the next month. She is earning decent money - not enough to buy a flat in London, but well above the average wage. She has the top floor of our house - bedroom, bathroom, sitting room.
We have always got on well and I was actually looking forward to having her around. But it’s all worked out rather differently. She clearly resents being here; she left all her worldly goods (bags and bags and bags of stuff) in the study until the cleaner and I found places to stash them; she is out every night and away every weekend so makes no contribution to the household; she’s done nothing to make herself at home in her space, which is still full of unpacked boxes and bags. She keeps her car on the drive which means endless manoeuvring around it when we have visitors as there’s only room for two cars.
I am increasingly uncomfortable about having someone living in my house who doesn’t want to be there, particularly when, objectively, they are getting such a good deal. My husband however doesn’t see it like this and the situation is driving us further and further apart. Things came to a head this afternoon when I needed a suitcase that she had ‘borrowed’ a month ago and not unpacked, and my husband said we couldn’t touch the contents as they were personal.
I feel that he is choosing to be her father rather than my husband: I don’t see why he can’t be both - and I think if I were her mother he would be less defensive of her - we have been married over ten years.
I would move out were it not logistically impossible given our young child.
What can I do?