But yet again under a different username for fear of being outed...
Just checking opinions on wether dh is right here.
So tonight dsd (13) should be coming for the full weekend. She comes every full weekend, then the following just a Sunday, then the full weekend again...etc etc...
This morning she informed dh that her mum has booked them tickets for something tomorrow. Dh not impressed. It's his time, his weekend but said it was fine.
So dsd is still coming tonight. Her mum will pick her up from our house tomorrow but is refusing to drop her back off with us after the event. She's said dh will have to come and colllect her. The drive to the place they are going too will take him 45 minutes each way. He's said no. Ex will have to drop her back off. To which ex replied, 'I'll just take her home then. You can't even be arsed, shit dad'
Now the thing is, ex moved away from our town 2 years ago. And has not helped in anyway when it comes to collecting dsd and dropping her off. Originally she said she would but she hasn't. She moved a 50 min drive away from us.
Now dh just does the picking up and dropping off - even every other Sunday when he spends most of the day just driving to pick her up then taking her back again after a few hours without moaning.
But now it's getting to a stage where both the ex and dsd are taking the piss abit. Dsd now decides when she wants to come and when she doesn't. Sometimes she prefers to be with her friends at that's absolutely fine. However we do explain to her that if she does this, we won't always be available to come and collect her when she wants. We have other dcs to consider and we make family plans.
E.g she will ring dh and say 'I'm sleeping at a friends tonight, can you pick me up at 11am tomorrow instead?' This is usually on the Friday she is supposed to come. 9/10 we can do this for her though dh feels his mum should play a part in dropping her off when this happens. We don't want her to feel left out but sometimes the other dcs have parties or arrangements. We only have 1 car so do what we can. It's dsds choice not to stick to the routine and dh 100% realises she's at an age when she wants a social life. It's fine.
However it's not fine when her mother makes plans on dhs weekend. She hadn't even come consulted dh to see if we had any plans.
So is dh right about not going to collect her from the venue they are going too? Tbf we can't at that time anyway, we are already going to see his family which dsd would of been coming too. But it's just expected of him to be able go collect her.
It's just all getting abit ridiculous. How do you deal with it when they get to teenagers? Wouldn't be so bad if she lived closer or had a mother who was willing to help out just a little bit. But it's getting like dh is just on stand by on a weekend to take her home or pick her up.
Dsd also usually goes in a mood when she's hear on a Sunday as her friends are asking her out to play and she's an hour away with us. There are times when we can't just take her home because she wants to go. We make plans around the arranged times (home time for her is 5.30, she's home for 6:.30 and dh is home for 7.30). Sometimes she will want to go home at 1pm for example but I will need the car or the other dcs have needs and we can't do it.
Do we just let her come and go as she pleases? I honestly don't see the point of dh collecting her tonight. She's already asked to be picked up later so she can stay out with her friends. That's fine but she's being collected at 11am tomorrow. She won't get up until 10am.
Sorry I'm just getting fed up with it. Last week dh was called an embarrassment of a father because he hadn't given dsd any tea. She didn't want any and was just going to have a snack when she got home. She was offered tea but said no.
It's just something every week from the ex and I feel like they both just walk all over dh. But if dh tries to stand up for himself, that makes him a shitty dad.