Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Original poster

How can she think that is acceptable

12 replies

mpeters82 · 08/04/2018 17:04

Hi,

How can any woman get with a man they have a child they don't see?
How can you sit there while you partner telling your child he don't want to see them.

This does not make you any better than him a waste of space.

I honestly could not watch this happen. I would be heartbroken for the child despite how their behaviour is. Be a bit more supportive towards her
as she raising a young boy to a young man.

Because you don't want his destroying your life with you woman. Women wake up smell the coffee be judging the ex and realize your with a man who watched his child go to b&b and live in a place you could of left. But chose to be spiteful yet the minute you had to leave you got a room.
But this sort of man you end up with sooner or later your see him for who he is. He do the same to you.A selfish piece of **m

I needed that off my chest some of you women need to hear it.

OP posts:
seabase · 08/04/2018 19:02

Sorry I don't understand the post?

Steeley113 · 08/04/2018 19:08

Hmm think you need to sort some of your issues out. I do agree with the sentiment though, I hate these women who sit there saying how horrible their partners ex is and that they don’t let them see his kids. If he actually really wanted to, then he’d be able to see them. It’s as simple as that!

bobstersmum · 08/04/2018 19:15

Are you drunk or is English not your first language ? I do agree though with what I think you are trying to say..

heidiwine · 08/04/2018 19:28

I didn’t see my dad from the day he left when I was 6 until I was in my 30s.
He’s not a bad man. I like him. My mum stopped him from seeing us and alienated us from him. I still am afraid of telling her that I see him.
I’m a step mum now and I see my DPs ex playing the same sorts of games that my mum did.
The saddest thing for me is that the biggest losers in divorce and separation are often the children.

Schmonday · 10/04/2018 00:00

Some fathers don't see their children because the mothers won't let them or make contact unmanageable. It's not always the father who is the 'bad' parent

swingofthings · 10/04/2018 06:45

Our reality is the one we believe in and the one we believe in is the one we want to hear, and that is true whether you're an ex or a new partner.

Someone who falls in love with a man is obviously going to do so because he has 'sold' himself to be lovable. She will believe what he says, will feel sorry for him, will want to fight his battles.

Similarly, the ex will believe that if her ex changes after meeting the new woman, it'all down to her changing him with him having lost all ability to think and make decisions for himself.

ClaryFray · 10/04/2018 07:47

Sometimes it's the woman who is difficult. The men always cop the blame though. Some men can't afford a court order detailing contact.

swingofthings · 10/04/2018 10:22

Sorry but I don't get that 'can't afford court order'. Understand can't afford right this minute but months or years onwards? Especially when in the meantime they've managed to afford a wedding or new car new house etc...

Doremisofarsogood · 10/04/2018 11:40

There are equally a lot of fathers (my DH) who have always paid maintenance as agreed and on time, kept to the custody agreements and been accommodating even when their ex has been unreasonable. The amount of time with his son my DH has missed out on because his ex made plans over his time, promised to swap some time back then never did, it's happened so often! But he carries on doing things as he should for the sake of his son.

FirstTimeRound984 · 10/04/2018 11:51

It's not always the fathers just deciding they don't want to see their child/ren. How can you see you child when the mother is denying access? I agree you should fight for it but it's rarely ever a one sided story. My DP pays maintenance and has a routine set up for when we have his kids but his ex often decides to change her mind/our plans so we end up losing out on seeing them. Short of going round there and forcing our way into her home to get the kids, there's not much we can do and that would not do the kids any good, we just have to make up for lost time when we can. There is always two sides to every story but some people only listen to one, my DP looks like the bad guy not seeing his kids but it's never through his own choice. I don't understand why you even posted this.

swingofthings · 10/04/2018 12:00

There is a difference though between missing some contact times ( because of the ex plans) and losing contact all together.

Angrybird123 · 13/04/2018 07:54

But the OP's post isn't about dads who are prevented from seeing their kids or alienated from them..that's a different thread. This one is about those who choose not bother because it impedes their social life and the new partners who seemingly unquestioning accept that it's not his fault. As a pp said, court applications are not that expensive and it's increasingly common to self rep..there's lots of guidance and forms etc online. I would at least expect to see that efforts were being made or else no, I would walk away too.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page