Dreading school hols ....Activities for all children

[fizzymama]

My DH has 2 DC 10 and 12 and we have 2 DC age 3 and 5, I dread school holidays... it is impossible to find days out / activities to suit all ages - which in theory I know is not possible due to the age differences. Last couple of years I feel we have spent tons of money on zoo's, theme parks, museum's that we have rushed round in half the time because my SC are bored, been there before, sulking because they cannot have everything they want, (My mum always buy a me....) moaned and looked disgusted because we had a pic nic and did not buy food at the attraction (My mum always does... ), constantly asked what time are we going home. I feel they look down at me and have spoilt days out and the memories I would have had taking my children to these places for the first time. My DH even had to take 1 of them to the car on one of our days out due to his behaviour. It's upsetting and I dread it. We can't afford to do separate things all the time although he has taken them to some football matches without me and the younger 2. Believe it or not one if them even complained then. He's not really into football more rugby but they aren't rugby fans. Anyway last summer all hell broke loose as we went on a day out without them. I have a friend who used to work at an attraction so he got us some discounted tickets. I had had such a nightmare previously that I just wanted to enjoy the day. Anyway DH got flamed by EW for not taking them- she is actually part of the problem as she has continuously told them we will always leave them out. Which is not true. But is it unreasonable to have one nice day? I'm already dreading this half term and the summer hols are fretting me out already. What does everyone else do with such age differences? Any ideas welcome.

Do the SC expect big days out every week? Because that's not normal living is it?

We had similar issues a few years back, Dp's two were 16 and 8 and mine were 13 and 6. So a pretty big age gap but fortunately the older two were pretty good at doing stuff aimed at the younger two plus we live near the coast and everyone likes the beach so that was always a fall back option for us.

I always planned big days out around his two so we would all go. So theme parks etc were planned months in advance so I could find good deals as money wasn't plentiful. Even then, there were still issues with moans about food and it was wearing when I had gone to so much effort to get us all somewhere nice for a day.

The biggest problem was his youngest going mental if we did anything when she wasn't with us. She would go away for weekends and days out with her mum on the weekends she wasn't with us but if we had gone anywhere (and I'm talking about the beach or park) then a major tantrum would happen because we had 'left her out' . I know it came from her mum, that attitude, but I made it clear I wasn't going to sit at home eow through the summer so as not to upset a child who wasn't with us! We never did big days out without her but it was still an issue.

I do recommend you pare back on outings. Maybe swimming as a whole family and then let dad take them to the park for a kick about or you take the youngest out for a walk but nothing which costs a fortune. They are meant to be there to see their dad, not be entertained.

Mycats - gosh your previous situation sounds simular but yes they do expect to go somewhere (not necessarily big day out) every week during holidays BUT in their defence it is not their fault. It is because their mum goes somewhere near enough everyday, and I am not exaggerating. When they were younger bribery was the trick!!. However I think perhaps you're right and we should do a big day out every other week. This would keep costs down and let them choose over the summer hols. That way they have had an input, the activities will be aimed at their age I assume and on their non contact days we can do things with our younger 2.

I think I had got too involved in making sure we all went as a 6 as it has been made such a big thing, by their mum that trying to make it work all the time was getting impossible. I was afraid of upsetting them but feeling desperately sorry for my 2 and feeling guilty about taking them anywhere - in secret. And you are 100% right it should be about spending time with their dad primarily and their siblings. There's some great ideas on here and some simple suggestions which I suppose when you're becoming bogged down in a situation you dont see the simple or the obvious.