Love my dsd to bits but don't know what to do

[moolady1977]

I've been with my dp for 8 months and moved in after 3 months I have 3 dc and he has 2 dc the youngest of his has just turned 13 I treat her no different to my dc and anything they have she has, we have her every other weekend and 3 days a week when we have her in the week it's always teatime we pick her up at her mums insistence and she is always really hungry same at the weekends, this isn't a problem she is always well fed with us my problem is that she is going back to her mum and telling her what is happening in our house what post we have and we have caught her snooping at post we moved out of the way I'm just wondering how to stop this or do I just hope she grows out of it as she is a really lovely girl in every way it's just the running back telling tales to her mum and then being rewarded for it

I do understand that and to me if it's in a bedroom drawer it's out of the way not in public view, it's her dad who has decided to speak to her but that is only after another phone call from her mum wanting to know why a large sum of money goes out of the bank every month, this is from my bank not my dp bank so is really nothing to do with her or my dsd and he feels that is a step too far

What blockchainlogic said. Protect your personal info.

As for those asking ‘how do you know it’s the Mum posing questions’ - in my situation it was plainly obvious due to the turn of phrase and vocab used by a young child/teenager. Anyone else know an 11 year old who asks ‘who is Executor of your Will now’?
Sometimes it’s very obvious the child has been primed...

Hope you find a resolution OP.

By effectively confronting the DSD, however gently, your partner will be creating a really uncomfortable situation for the girl, where her dad is saying ' don't do as your mum asks, do what I ask instead'. I'm not sure what you expect the result to be, but I'd be very surprised if the DSD happily agrees and tells her mum she's been asked to stop passing on information, her mum accepts that gracefully, and you all live in harmony.
No one is suggesting its right that the girl is looking thru papers and telling her mum your business, but if her mum was entirely reasonable she would never have asked her to do this.
Please consider the position the girl will be put in if you bring this out for discussion, and the likely ways her mum will react, both to the girl, and to your partner having access.

You and your 3 kids moved in with her dad after 3 months of dating?

My thoughts too. You may have known each other for years...as (always seems to be the case when this is raised)...but your DC haven't had the same privilege.

My teens are nosy. One of them told me exactly how much his father's credit card bill was and how much he has in his pension through snooping and no prompting from me. I remember reading one of my Dad's pension statements and health insurance details as a teen.

As I mentioned further up in this thread no my kids live with their father and yes actually that was the case we met at work became friends and then after a year he left for another job and we stayed in touch and started a relationship. We'll my dp spoke to my dsd and her mother and my dsd dropped her mother totally in deep water it wasn't nice to see her mother squirm as it came out what she had been doing and why she had been doing it but hopefully now it stops, thanks to all for the advice you gave