Sorting out holidays

[TwoDots]

When does and how does your partner sort out who has dsc in school holidays? Do they agree it several months in advance, beginning of year, weeks in advance etc?
Just curious what happens with other people

Ours seems to get decided based on when I offer to take time off work. I usually have to ask for the leave some time in advance. DH and DSDs mum will otherwise just sort it out the days before with DSD being sent to her grandma's during the day as neither like to take time off.

It depends what days my husband and his ex partner have off. Sometimes she will tell us a few weeks in advance if she has booked time off and wants to take him down the caravan. If we plan on booking a holiday abroad we check with her first a few months in advance, just in case she has plans for those dates too. We don't have specific school holidays each. The only one that stays the same is Christmas where we alternate each year. Other than that, it was just agreed in mediation that holidays would be split evenly

Dh and his ex partner split it equal and alternate weeks. The last couple of years this has been sorted early on in the year so we can all book holidays. It's been left later previously and all went a bit wrong.

Our summer holiday is based on when OH can get time off work so arranged quite far in advance and the others are often finalised 3 weeks before which is a little stressful but as DSDs Mum doesn’t work she’s quite flexible about how we do it

I find planning the year is much easier and having an unwritten rule.
So our unwritten rule is that my sd has every other year of half terms with mum and the next year with dad, this way if any trips or holidays want to be planned in advance they can be. Christmas, easter and 6 weeks holidays are split, we tend to plan easter just after christmas, summer after easter and christmas september time. We also make sure that we ask before booking holidays in the holidays we share just so everything is clarified and noone double books!
My sd mum doesnt work so in all fairness to her we set the dates and she is understanding
I think if you can get on and discus that great but if not having rules is much better for example
Dad gets every feb half term and the first week of easter and christmas, and the first, third, fifth week of summer
Mum gets every may half term and the alternate weeks to dad and october is split, one parent has friday - wed and one gets wed - sunday

I find the holiday I want and email the ex about dates. He ignores it. 7 days later I send a reminder email and a ‘if I haven’t heard from you by X time on Y date’, I will assume you have no issues and book it. He then moans - usually 6 mo the later - that I didn’t ask. So he gets emails resent and a very pertinent ‘if you needed more time, why not just let me know?’. Then he huffs and puffs, throws his toys out his pram, doesn’t take them anywhere and the whole thing starts again. Every year.

My OH does the contact order for the year ahead in December. They have a court ordered contact order.

They have a statement on their contact order written in by the judge (as mother has been quite difficult with regards to contact and never responded to requests). A judge wrote that each party should respond to the order within 4 days. My OH sent the suggested 2018 contact order in December and the mother took over 3 weeks to respond.

They are now in the process of negotiating the odd date.

In my opinion these things need to be agreed in advance so everyone knows where they stand and there needs to be some compromise on both sides.