Stepson's girlfriend

[LaVieEstBelle159]

How do I deal with this situation? I've known DSS2 since he was 10, he's now 24. Reasonably close, never had a fallout and always got on fine. He's had a gf for 18 months. DH and I aren't overly keen as she's a bit possessive, but it's his life, we understand young love etc. Bought gf a nice Xmas present, gave it to DSS to pass to her, didn't hear anything from her. Bumped into them after Xmas, she thanked DH then but not me, but not only that, didn't speak to me when I spoke to her twice, wouldn't join us in the aisle to chat. She acted as though she was going to catch something from us. Not sure how to take this forward but I don't think I should just let it slide. PS the gift was a nice obviously tasteful chosen by a woman gift. I feel really hurt as we've welcomed her into our home, for meals, bbqs etc. Any advice please?

Can you think of any reason why she would be like this? Not to make assumptions but could his mum have said anything that would make her guarded around you?
Otherwise I’d suggest that either you or if you think it’s more appropriate than your DH needs to have a gentle chat with your DSS to try and find out what’s going on. It might be that she it is just the way she is and to keep relationships positive you’ll just have to let it slide.

Rereading that I didn’t mean it come across that you’d done anything wrong; I meant could someone else’s actions have made her act like that

Hi thank you for replying. I think you have hit the nail on the head. I think she gets on very well with DSS Mum and she maybe feels she has to take sides. Even though the split happened years before we met. She's 19 so maybe a bit immature.

Also I appreciate you taking an objective view as when I re-read my post, it sounded as though it was all about the present. It wasn't, but I just thought that would have encouraged her to have been nicer.

DH said that if I say something, I may come across as the bad person. So I agree, I may just need to let it slide!

Maybe she’s picked up on vibes you admit to being overly keen on her. I would leave them to get on with it tbh. I think the fact she gets on with her bf mum has not relevance here she might simply have more in common.

She sounds like she needs to learn some manners! You bought her a gift and she didn’t thank you and then she excludes you from a conversation. Rude.

What does your DSS think?

I hope she hasn't picked up on vibes as we've both tried really hard to make her welcome and draw her into conversation. She's really hard work and I do think she's rude, surely it's basic good manners to thank someone for a present.

When I was a teen, I bent over backwards to impress "in-laws"!

Neither of us have said anything to DSS, mainly because we don't want to upset things.