Does anyone's DP...

[tobleronemisery]

Treat your child differently when you argue?

EXcuse any typos I'm writing this on the train with no glasses.

DP moves in a year ago we've been together for three before. I have a DS13 and he has a DD12 here every weekend.

Moving in was tough he admits he's not easy to live with and Christmas was frankly awful.

Things have been tense and he's basically sulking and ignoring me.

Ok, I'll deal with it, but I had to go to work today and leave DS at home.

I've been calling through the day, DS is a mature kid, gets his breakfast and snacks etc, had a lazy day in bed.

I asked where my DO was and he's basically been sat on the sofa all day ignoring DS.

FFS I'm so livid and sad. Everytime his daughter is here and things are rough it's painted smiling faces.

When it's me him and DS it's sulking, silence earring separately, one word abrupt answering etc.

I feel utterly stuck it's a rough patch but the behaviour exhibited makes me really go off him.

Don't know why I'm writing this, just need to get it off my chest. So so wrong.

Heading home now....to who knows what.

Get him out. He’s an arse. Not a nice person. Waste no more time or upset to your son.

Why would you make your son live with that? To say nothing of why you would live with it yourself? relationships are supposed to make life nicer.

Wow...ok. I didn't actually know he was like this when we lived separately. We had a few tiffs but discussed things, made up and moved on. It was one of the things I loved about him. Then he moved in and his personality changed quite irrationally.

Rather than discuss things as we used to, in the last months it's just become like this.

My stepdad used to be absolutely terrible for this. Whenever he and my mum argued he wouldn't talk to my mum, me or my three siblings from my mum's previous marriage but would carry on as normal with my siblings that he shared with my mum. He's stopped doing it now after my mum had a very stern word with him about how just because he was cross her there was absolutely no need to take it out on her children.

Bit of an eye-opener, isn't it?

You're in charge of your reaction to this, though - use your power wisely. I'm sure you will

@LegallyBrunet thanks for sharing your experience it's food for thought indeed this evening.

He's chronically shy and anxious. I'm not standing up for him, his behaviour is unacceptable, but I think the silence comes from burning shame that he's doing this and doesn't know how to back out.

I will be having a stern word this evening and I will expect an apology to my DS.

@LineysRumBaba yes it is an eye opener. I guess moving in as a blended family of two different cultures and four languages was always going to be difficult. I looked for all the red flags whilst together in the first years. The behaviour changed and I'm wondering if it's the shock of adapting to this family life. He was single for 5 years following the divorce.

Brace myself for a full and Frank conversation later this evening out of earshot.

Good luck. I hope he 'gets it' and does work on changing. It's so unfair for everyone, otherwise - and it gives him the power to ruin birthdays, Christmas, other special days.

It's basically big baby sulking and deeply unattractive, as well as being unfair on your son.

If you don't want to be around dp right now, imagine how your ds feels. Time to call it a day before your relationship with your dc is beyond repair.