Smoking around the DC's

[rackelle]

DSD's DM has recently started smoking again and is constantly smoking around DSD and her other DC, you can smell it on their clothes and hair etc. DSD has had a constant cold and other DC has had several chest infections since.
I know it is none of my or DH's business what she does in her personal life but when it starts affecting his DD then surely it is his business?
DSD complains that she is left to look after her sibling while mummy is in the garden, she is fed up of this as she can't be playing games/reading/watching her tv channel when she is as sibling a toddler and needs constant supervision.
How do you tackle a conversation with a temperamental woman about her habit affecting the children? Do we talk to the siblings father about it and get his view too?
There are other issues with care we have concerns over but don't know where to start when it comes to requesting full custody etc and what sort of "evidence" is required to present. Any help there would also be appreciated.

So is she smoking in the house or the garden?

I’m not sure that there’s much you can do, it’s not ideal parenting but lots of parents smoke, I doubt it can be used as evidence to get full custody.

Unfortunately (as I hate smoking and am very anti smoking and I hate smoking in front of children) there’s not a lot you can do. What the mum does in her time is her business (and vice versa).

You don’t get colds from smoking -it is a virus. And infections are caused by bacteria. Nothing at all to do with smoking.

It’s not ideal but it is not causing these kinds of I’ll ess.

You can smell smoke in the house when we pick her up but unsure if she is smoking in the house or the smoke is blowing inside.
Smoking around children lowers their immune system and makes them more susceptible to illnesses.
As I said there are other issues that we are concerned about but this one we are concerned about the health of the children.

There is no doubt over the effects of passive smoking (it doesn’t lower the immune system but can lead to much more serious health problems).

You can’t tell the mother what to do on her time. You wouldn’t like it if she interfered in your home.

How old is your SD? They do a lot of talking at schools about smoking etc... the most effective way would be if she could speak with her mum, explain that she's learned at school that it would be better if she didn't smoke in the house around her and the toddler.

It is possible that she smokes outside, but then her clothes could make the house smell. As for looking after the toddler, depends on the age and how long she is asked to look after them. If it is only when she smokes a cigarette outside, it's not that unreasonable.

I was sure I had read an article about passive smoking reducing the effectiveness of immune systems in children, at the very least it can leave them susceptible to respiratory infections.
From experience being near someone who smokes doesn't generally make you smell of smoke but being near someone who is smoking does which is why we are concerned. I get we can't tell her what to do in her home and wouldn't dream of telling her she should quit but are you saying DH and DSD's sibling's DF shouldn't have any right to ask her not to do it around the children?
DSD is 6, everything she tells us we do take with a pinch of salt but she gets quite upset about having to "always look after" her sibling, it sounds like friends are round and they sit in the garden with drinks etc for long periods, although not so much in the recent very chilly weather. I guess this is where the worry has increased, that because of the cold smoking may come indoors if not already.

I will talk to DSD about the smoking to see if she feels comfortable saying anything, not sure how to approach that but maybe wait until she brings it up again and ask how she feels about it and tell her to talk to her mum about how she feels?

Perhaps we should leave it unless we witness anything and say something then?

Look have a conversation with the woman. Jezzz