To do or not to do - joint Christmas presents?

[Bibidy]

Sorry ladies, I know it's early to be talking about Christmas ;) ...

A couple of days ago OH suggested that this year we should do joint gifts for the kids (SS7 and SD3) and I don't know whether to or not.

He'd still be paying so not worried about that, he'd just put my name on them too (though I would give him money towards them/buy a few bits myself).

I'm just not sure because I think they will just assume all the gifts are from him and I think it's important that they see me make an effort as well. I have a good relationship with them so far and last year they loved opening my gifts and remembered which ones I got them. It was good because I don't see them that often (I don't live with OH and he only has the kids EOW) so I think little things like this help them to know I have thought of them.

I think OH would like us to give joint gifts so we are more of a unit and also because the kids get so much that it makes sense for us both to contribute to the same pile (both in volume and money).

This year will be my third Christmas with OH and my second with his kids.

What do you think?

We are married but do a combination. Some from me, some from DH, some from both (too old for Santa). Doesn't have to be either or, can be both.

Same as @MrsKnightley. I am a present one upper though :) we get a few bits together, I do the stockings and the main present from F.C.
I am a bit of a Christmas fanatic though.

Thanks ladies, sounds like a good idea but not sure that's an option for us as we don't live together or have any shared finances at the moment.

I considered doing the joint gifts and then just getting them one thing each that's just from me but think that may defy the point and also potentially push them closer to thinking everything else is only from their dad?

We don’t either. I buy a few bits, he buys a few bits, we wrap up and tag together. Does it really matter if they specifically know who pays for what?

wannabe oh no, it's not so much the who pays for what but more the logistics of it...we live quite far apart so chances are I wouldn't even see the things he's bought until they're unwrapping them and I'd have to arrive separately in front of them with the other presents etc etc. I just don't feel like it's very convincing that they're from both of us in our current situation.

I think it needs to be either/or for us...all joint presents or none.

I know I'm massively overthinking it...they get so much they probably don't even read the tags!

You really are (in the nicest way) they will clock the presents and that will be it.....
why don’t you start a new tradition eg a small stocking or something.
It really is as complex for me in that I buy some bits when I see them (little bits) and he does the same and we shove it all together and see what we have ....
mind you I make
Stockings for 6 older children (range from 30-13)
I dgs age 6 months
Dps brother
One girlfriend and one boyfriend that will be staying with our respective children.
Each other
I have a book. It takes strategic planning :)

My ex has a girlfriend and currently she buys separate presents for my kids ..... she's known them about 18 months

I think from my perspective, if they were living together then joint presents seem logical. Until then, it's separate presents ...... and actually my kids do remember what she buys them, she clearly knows my children very well as she makes great choices, it's really sweet

I used to buy my DSC seperate presents until DP and I lived together. Now we buy joint ones. I know its not about whos spent the money, but its nice that the DCs know that you've thought about them and what to get them.

I did separate presents before DP and I moved in together. Now they're all joint presents. I think it makes more sense to keep them separate until you live together.

As you don't live together, you are not yet a unit, so your OH seems to want to jump the gun a bit.

Saying that, OH and I still do presents separately for my kids despite having lived together 7 years and married 5! The kids are now teenagers and he gives them money despite me telling him every year that he really doesn't need to!