Advice on rebuilding relationship with stepdaughters

[Garry1978]

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Today 18:32Garry1978

Hi i would like some advice please. I was seperated from my partner for 2 months but have now reconciled and are looking at getting back together and me going home again.
The problem is that i upset and hurt my stepkids in particular the two older girls 13 and 12. I let them down by being horrible to my partner and making her unhappy which they hated seeing. My partner still loves me and i have grown so much in the 2 months she booted me out ( in actual fact her doing it was the wake up call i need - man thinking he could take his partner for granted and she wouldn't leave him, not listening etc and im a better person for looking at myself and realising how stupid i was)
I have apologised to the kids via letters acknowledging i was wrong and how badly i want to make it up to them but they feel very strongly about us getting back together.
How do i deal with this? I so want to make things right with the kids as i love them like they were my own.

It depends what your relationship was like before. You could go all out for a while and spoil them rotten (if they allow it)?

It waa great for a while then it was bad with some arguing

I think you need to Show them that you have changed before you move in. Give them a few months to see and include them in decisions of you moving back in. They are young adults and should feel their opinion matters. Ask them to write what changes they want to see and discus as adults how your going to do it.
Actions speak louder than words

I'd leave them to accept it in their own time without forcing things.

Also two months is no time at all so I think it's highly unlikely you've completely seen the light, you're just in panic mode. I suspect you'll go back to being exactly the same pretty rapidly and they'll be hurt and see their mother be hurt again. Your DP isn't being particularly sensible either though - two months isn't long enough and she should be protecting her kids from keeping having to witness her be involved in a relationship with a selfish entitled person.

Thank you for you comments.

I'd say, 2 months isn't long enough for the complete epiphany you're describing. Perhaps give yourself, your DP and the DSC, a little more time to get used to the idea of getting back together.
In the meantime, keep in touch with them all, maybe take them out for treats....but most of all, really think about what you could have lost.
Is this relationship really what you want, is there ANY possibility, that you may do it again, because if so, you'd be fairer to back off now!

two months is no time at all so I think it's highly unlikely you've completely seen the light, you're just in panic mode

This.
Take more time.

Agree with your comments. We are spending time together as a couple again and taking their feelings into consideration without forcing anything. Its absolutely what i want no doubts at all i just got complacent with things. Losing 2 months without my family has just reinforced how important they all are to me and id never make the same mistake again. There isnt a possibility of me doing it again and risk losing my family.

Well I'm cynical that someone who can be so vile that their stepkids hate them and their partner kicks them out can become a reformed character ever, far less in 2 months. That said, my advice would be appologise to the children sincerely, talk to them like young adults and then focus on treating their mother with the love and respect they want for her. I wouldn't go down the route of showering the kids with treats. That is likely to be viewed with a great deal of suspicion. You should though ensure you give them their place in the family and do things together you all enjoy.

Im not a changed completely rehabilited man im a changing one determined to be a better person for me and my family.