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Fall out from cutting the (financial) cord - HELP

6 replies

Callmeabiscuit · 01/09/2017 22:53

Hello all. I wrote a few weeks back, and we had decided not to continue bailing out DH's ex anymore financially having already given her a very substantial amount in addition to CM. She's had another "financial crisis" this week, and the fallout today has been intense.

She had told us months ago that the car she was driving DSDs in was unrepairable and broken, uninsured, and no MOT. So we bought her a new (used) car and paid for MOT, tax, and insurance. She's now written upset that the new vehicle has a tire which is slowly leaking and a list of other (minor) complaints which she wants us to fix since we bought the car for her.

She is also in need of another several thousand £ because of her work situation. We've declined to give it to her. She is quite shocked and upset by this as we've always given in before, and we've been subjected to a barrage of abusive language and threats.

Last year when she got herself in these straits, she claimed that she thought about "ending" herself and the children because she can't take it. We called the police who did a check and said she was fine.

DH is terrified (as am I) of how she will react given the past and her current language. We've contacted our solicitor and are waiting on a reply. Any (helpful) advice at all would be most welcome.

x

OP posts:
justtiredofcoping · 01/09/2017 23:07

Stick to it - you have to, this is completely unreasonable of her.

If she threatens to harm the children then you keep then with you.

Am sure it is going to be painful but it will be worth it in the end -you can not keep bailing her out.

it is going to be a hell few months - but it will settle.

Callmeabiscuit · 01/09/2017 23:20

Thanks @justtiredofcoping. It's been a rough day.

OP posts:
NeverTwerkNaked · 01/09/2017 23:21

Stick to it. Record any messages. you can't keep doing the bailing out, I remember your previous post. You are doing the right thing

NeverTwerkNaked · 01/09/2017 23:21

And yes if there are further threats to chikdren you keep them at yours and leave it to a court to assess if necessary.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/09/2017 23:27

It sounds horrifically stressful, I'm so sorry, but I agree, you've drawn a line and you can't go back. You BOUGHT HER A CAR and she wants more. I remember your previous thread and in the nicest possible way I think you're both utterly insane to have kept showering with your money as you have. But I'm glad it's changed now so well done. Of course she's freaking out, the money stream has finally dried up. And about bloody time.

I know it's shit right now and you'll be worried about all sorts of things. But what's the alternative? Keep letting her bleed you dry until 30 years from now she's sending you requests for new curtains or a holiday and expecting you to pay because a long time ago before you knew her she and your husband had a relationship?

Hold your nerve. Do everything you can for the children but remember your responsibility is to them, not her.

Wdigin2this · 02/09/2017 11:21

You give in now, and that's it....you might as well give her your bank details! Hang in there, she's bluffing!

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