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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

My daughter hates her step dad

21 replies

Jpw090 · 28/08/2017 08:36

Help what should I do. I can't tell him as they don't always get on. My daughter just grunts sometimes at him and he sometimes ignores her but other times they chat a little. Is this normal?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Gorgosparta · 28/08/2017 08:38

Why doesnt she like him?

Its hard to say if its normal or give advice on so little.

How old is she? Do you all live together? Did they ever get on?

Original poster

Jpw090 · 28/08/2017 08:40

She's 13 and yes we all live together. They do get on occasionally.

OP posts:

2014newme · 28/08/2017 08:40

Poor kid. I hated my dad's girlfriend luckily he eventually found a better one who is wonderful.
I'm puzzled why you would marry someone your dd hates?

Rainybo · 28/08/2017 08:41

Have they ever got on? Is this a change?

Pagwatch · 28/08/2017 08:43

Why does she say she hates him. What has she told you?

Fairylea · 28/08/2017 08:44

How long were you together for before he moved in? Has she ever liked him? What has he done to build a bond with her?

Original poster

Jpw090 · 28/08/2017 08:45

Yes it does seem to be a change. I've even offered to move out with her but she says no as then we will have nothing. Should I seek further help for her?

OP posts:

TwitterQueen1 · 28/08/2017 08:45

Why are you living with someone your DD hates? Has she always hated him? If so, why move him in?

newnamechange84 · 28/08/2017 08:57

How long have you been living together? Does she really hate him or is she just being a normal teen?! Have you witnessed any behaviour from him towards her that would cause her to feel like that?

hesterton · 28/08/2017 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewPurrs5 · 28/08/2017 09:08

Why did you marry someone your child dislikes so much?!

lunar1 · 28/08/2017 09:14

You need to post real details to get helpful advice. Why does she hate him? And when does he ignore her, is it in response to her behaviour?

JuicyStrawberry · 28/08/2017 09:27

Yes I would say it's normal.
I didn't like my stepdad very much growing up but I kept quiet about it for my mum's sake because I didn't want to hurt her. I reckon she could sense it sometimes though.

Silverdream · 28/08/2017 09:29

Does she hate him or is it the teen stage hitting in.
It's very hard for some teens to work out their emotions and show positive emotions.
Read - get out my life but first take me and alex to town.
It was such a help for me. It helped me understand why my kids acted the way they did through the teen years.

talonofthehawks · 28/08/2017 09:31

What do you mean 'if you move out you will have nothing?'

She feels obligated to be there? You need to explain

Underthemoonlight · 28/08/2017 09:32

You need to post real details to get helpful advice. Why does she hate him? And when does he ignore her, is it in response to her behaviour?

^This there's clearly a back story and no one can advise if your not prepared to tell people rather than add snipes here and there.

Qvar · 28/08/2017 09:32

Can you see why? Is he a stricter parent? Is she an only who was the centre of your attention? Do you (be honest) pander to him?

Gorgosparta · 28/08/2017 09:33

You do seen to very evasive op.

Thats your choice, but you wont get any advice thats helpful

Wdigin2this · 28/08/2017 10:55

Sit her down, when your DH is not there, and ask her all the right questions. Make sure she understands that you'll believe her, not doubt her and definitely not blame her. Hopefully, she'll open up to you.
You can probably get advice on how to phrase questions, on line....I wouldn't advise involving any official sources at this stage.

knockknockknock · 28/08/2017 16:42

I hated my step mother from the moment I met her to the day she died. Maybe she just doesn't like him - or maybe there is a reason but you need to find out and put her first.

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 29/08/2017 00:45

I would agree the answers are in the details. Your daughter doesn't have to like your DH all the time. She should be cordial and polite, harmonious. There's a big difference between a real build up of ill feeling, that is poisoning the household, and what and who causes it. And a grumpy teenager who feels familiar enough to be themselves.

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