Hi all. I've posted on here before and I read the boards quite a bit.
My DD is the problem here.
She is 16. Has recently moved in with me and DP but has returned back to her Dads for a few weeks to catch up with friends and boyfriend.
Fine when with us even when I have to say no to her (as long as I explain why calmly I've found)
Really butting heads with her Dad and DStep.
Stupid stuff. Disrespect. Just eating junk and getting snappy when asked for a list of seven meals she would eat, so that she could be catered for.
She cooked a meal for me and DP off her own back as a surprise! I spoke to DStep about it earlier and she ranted to me (We do this often and our phone calls end with "speak soon luv ya")
DD has a bloody good life up there. Her Dad is an awesome father to all his children and DStep IS my DD's 2nd Mum although she has never used the title she has fucking earned it and I've told her myself 😁
DD seems to suddenly have taken against DStep and keeps saying " I'm trying to be adult but you don't know what she's like!"
But I do.
And she (DStep) is so far from being fucking unreasonable that she's in another fucking galaxy!!
I had an awful time around her 16th birthday where she was simultaneously radio silence for days and then venting her rage at me for splitting up with her Dad 12odd years ago. He's been married to DStep for nearly five years MORE than the length of time me and him were together! They have her DSis and DBro together!
We have all pretty much always been if not friendly then downright amicable even during her rough times as a growing teen.
We did get through it and apologies were freely given on both sides.
And other than sympathising/ talking to DD asking her to think how she would like to be treated, backing them up, offering sanctions they can have me use here as well, nothing seems to work!
She's being awful to her other parents and I don't know how to help. She seems to morph into a different creature when she's there. Drama everywhere and none here.
She's only there (potentially as according to a message from her she is being told to pack a bag) for the next two weeks until she gets her results. And a financial reward from me depending on ABC grades (prior incentive to revise behave)
I love DD so much and I keep telling her I'm proud of her for choosing to come and live with me and DP (whom she gets on with really well) and go to college. It's a big step moving to a city and leaving your fiends behind. Typo deliberate but a few are lovely and have been here to stay with her)
We get on great when she's here.
If you have got this far the St Johns Ambulance people will be with you shortly 😳😪