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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Teenage boys unhealthy sexual behaviour

48 replies

VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 18:05

Really don't want to out myself but need advice. So namechanged.
DSS has been compulsively looking up porn on his iPad.
Porn nowadays can be pretty hardcore so DH confiscated iPad, talked to DSS etc.
Turns out he is accessing his sisters iPad and now looking up pictures of small children in pants.
DSS is a closed book emotionally and gives less than nothing away.
My question is, is this normal behaviour for a pubescent teen boy?
My heart says no and I'm so so worried, I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 18:05

I meant to add to OP, I don't feel I can do anything as I am not his mum. So I'm feeling like a bit of an outsider

OP posts:
SnowiestMountain · 14/08/2017 18:06

No experience whatsoever but I'd say the small children bit certainly isn't right... not sure of a solution though so hopefully somebody will be along soon to help Flowers

Orangebird69 · 14/08/2017 18:07

Not normal imo... can you not put a filter on your wifi and any data access for the ipad?

Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 18:17

His ipad has been sold and he has been told he will not be getting another one.
DH seems to think that's it dealt with.... I'm not so sure.
Am I over reacting?

OP posts:
TwoDots · 14/08/2017 18:20

That's not dealt with at all. Honestly do t know what I'd do in your situation. Sorry OP

Flumplet · 14/08/2017 18:21

Certainly not over-reacting and I wouldn't say that was normal or dealt with. There's something going on there that needs proper sorting out and getting to the bottom of and sooner rather than later too.

Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 18:22

I agree TwoDots I don't think it's dealt with.
I worry about my younger children yet I'm horrified at myself for admitting that

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 14/08/2017 18:25

Nope, not over reacting. If a teacher found out about this they would have a duty to report it as a safeguarding issue.

Explain to your DP if this is dealt with sensitivity now it won't be an issue if it is ignored it could blight his whole adult life. Contact the NSPCC or Barnardo's they should be able to point you somewhere.

Do not ignore it.

Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 18:36

Thank you mouse for validating the fact I'm worried about it.

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 14/08/2017 18:43

I'll say it again then. You are right to be worried.

Even if your DP doesn't want to do anything you must - phone the help line on this page. Do it in secret if you have to but do it.

www.barnardos.org.uk/what_we_do/policy_research_unit/hsb_inquiry/advice-for-parents/getting-advice.htm

leighdinglady · 14/08/2017 18:50

Only a matter of time before the police Coke knocking on your door as the IP address downloading child pornography is yours!

Maybe explain to him that it's illegal and you could all get in serious trouble.

Kiddie porn is NOT normal. I would say the other stuff unfortunately is. It's a sad world for kids (especially girls) nowadays

Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 19:01

Thank you so much for that link.
I will absolutely be phoning about it tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 19:03

leigh is it different due to the fact that it's not exactly child 'porn' as such, it's just photos of boys in pants.
That's a genuine question, im trying to get my head round this Sad

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 14/08/2017 19:05

Sorry to derail but would just like to point out they are images of child abuse, not kiddy/ child porn.

troodiedoo · 14/08/2017 19:07

But I accept in this instance they may be just boys in pants and your dss is unlikely to be a paedophile.

The stop it now website has some good information.

creamcheesechampion · 14/08/2017 19:07

How old is your DSS?

Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 19:08

13

OP posts:
Finola1step · 14/08/2017 19:11

I strongly urge you to call the NSPCC for advice. Especially if there ate younger children in the home.and switch of your WiFi.

ASauvingnonADay · 14/08/2017 19:13

Definitely call NSPCC for advice.

Moussemoose · 14/08/2017 19:13

The thing is VodkaRB you don't know and I don't know 'how' he is using it. Our definitions are irrelevant. It is a red flag and you have quite correctly identified it. You job now is to phone someone who knows more about these issues so they can give you advice.

Good luck and stay strongFlowers

greendale17 · 14/08/2017 19:24

Looking at images of small children in pants is not normal at all.

Ring the NSPCC for advice

chickenwhisper · 14/08/2017 20:13

NSPCC, and a child psychologist if you can afford one.

Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 20:22

Thank you mouse and all the other people who took time to reply.
I am going to phone for advice tomorrow and also look in to the Stop It Now website.

I will also have to bring it up again to DH as I'm sure he thinks that is it dealt with

OP posts:
ASauvingnonADay · 14/08/2017 20:25

You probably already are, but I wouldn't leave your younger DC with him alone, until you know more.

Original poster
VodkaRB · 14/08/2017 20:31

I definitely won't be. I just know it's going to hurt DH big time if he realises I think (or am worried about) his child is capable of abusing mine

OP posts: