Christmas / New yearbook

[Justoneme]

I need some advice ...
I have 1 child with my ex and my husband has 3 children with his ex.
I have my child 50/50 and overall I have a pretty reasonable relationship with my ex.
My husband has his children 45/65 ; we have them every other weekend and every Wednesday collection from school till Thursday night where we have to drop them back at 730. However school holidays are split.
Last Christmas our first Christmas together we had the children Christmas Day from 1pm till 29th. We decided to book a last minute break for new year. This year it was agreed we were going to have Christmas Eve and and Christmas till 1pm then 30-2nd Jan (so new year) my husband ex has turned around and said we can no longer have Christmas Eve and Christmas morning if we are going to have new year. My husband told his ex that we were going to take the kids away on holiday for New Years. Now the ex has applied for court saying it's unreasonable for the children to be with us Christmas Eve / day and new year. My husband ex has thrown it on our face that we didn't want the children new year because we had booked a holiday - that wasn't the case as last year arrangements were made in September and we didn't book our holiday till December.
My ex is happy with the arrangements and doesn't want to swap because he doesn't want to be controlled by my husband ex wife.
I don't know what to do ... do i have a right to feel pissed off or is it my own fault for marriaging this man baggage and all.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I think it unreasonable you have both Christmas and New Year, yes. But I guess it depends on what was agreed and when. It's not fair if she's going back on what was previously agreed.

Not sure how the courts would view it. It does mean their mum will get to spend very little time with them over the Xmas holiday. Can you find a compromise? Can she have them for both Christmas and New Year next year?

So it was ok for the ex to have Christmas and new year last year? If you are just doing the reverse of last year, it seems fair, but maybe agree to change the arrangement going forward?

Hi,
Yes next year she would have Christmas Eve Christmas morning and New year ...
I just feel she is moving the gate posts.
Last year she had what we are wanting this year.

Sorry, hadn't appreciated the reversal of last year. Are you having them from 1pm on Xmas Day or is she not seeing them at all?

Read that again. You had them from 1pm Xmas Day through to the 29th last year? If that's the case, you had the majority of Xmas, surely?

She is moving the goal posts. Now she's applied to court there may not be much you can do, except stick to your guns that this is simply the reverse of last year. Going forward, would you be prepared to split Christmas and New Year?

However Jane, that's what the ex is getting this year (in fact from midday Christmas to the 30th)

What were the arrangement before you moved in together? It does seem a bit harsh that of all the celebration, all she gets is the afternoon of Christmas day.

I suppose it all depends on what was agreed previously, whether she took them somewhere last NY and whether your OH asked to have them then and she refused.

Thank you all for your time. I have emailed my ex and asked if he would be okay to swap ... so we can give his ex what she wants without the drama of going to court.

I'm really confused. Am I right in saying that what you had last year she will now have this year? If that's the case then she is being v unreasonable & I really don't see why your ex should be dragged into this to keep this to keep your Dps ex happy.

I am guessing that it comes down to have vs asked, ie. mum's argument is that she had it but because OP's OH wasn't bothered rather than because mum asked.

OP, I would suggest agreeing, but also setting your future arrangements clearly, all of them, to avoid going through this again.