Telling his child I'm pregnant

[giantpickle]

Sorry this isn't strictly speaking step parenting but I thought this might be the best place to come for advice.

Long story short my I haven't been with my boyfriend very long but we were very good friends before we got together so I already have a close relationship with his DS who is 7. We get on very well and he's thrilled I'm now the girlfriend (we've introduced this v slowly and I don't stay over when he's there). He is adamant that he doesn't want any siblings though.

Only thing is that I'm pregnant (contraception failure)- its way too soon but we love each other and both want to keep the baby. I'm only 6 weeks in so won't be telling the DS til after the scan.

Anyone with a similar experience with any words of wisdom? Obviously my boyfriend knows his DS well and is a fantastic dad so I trust him to know how/when to tell his DS but I'm worried about how he will react. The last thing I want to do to this little boy is cause him to feel upset or unsettled.

Anyone?

Include him in as much as possible. He's a part of it all. Don't leave him out. Get him to pick things and make a big deal of the 'big brother' role - it's very important you know.

He'll probably struggle a bit but eventually will love him if he is fully a part of your family. It'll be ok. X

How long is 'not very long'? Approach is different depending what you mean by that, I think.

But it's worth remembering that 7YO's don't get a say on whether their parents have more children - whether they're together or not.

Congratulations!!
He needs to know that being a big brother comes with lots of bonuses!!
And ob that df still loves him etc etc.

When I had ds to a new dh there was only positive reactions from my dc.
Remember it is a thing to be celebrated so in no way apologise for the announcement - even if you think ds doesn't want one - he is a dc and doesn't get to decide grown ups future plans!! (or surprises!)

And congratulations! Lovely news

Thanks everyone for making it seem like less of a big deal!

I probably should have said this but he's already a big brother as his mum has a baby so it will be difficult to persuade him that he'll love it because he doesn't!

Ahh. Why not? What does he say? Then try and ease his worries. Children don't want for much - love and attention. Give as much as you can and you won't go too far wrong

He says his brother cries a lot and is annoying. I think he loves coming to his dads and getting all of his (and my) attention. Hard to reassure him when he knows how disruptive and tiring a baby can be. I'd love to know what to say to reassure him that he will still get time with his dad etc

Do you have any examples of things that change/pass? So now the baby is like this but soon he'll change? Even growing cress 😂 it changes as it grows...

Congratulations !!!
What if your partner talked about when DSS was a baby? E.g you used to cry a lot when you were a baby too, and now you're a big strong smart boy!
Maybe get him a t shirt that says worlds best big brother or similar, encourage him to pick things out for the little one?
DP and I know we want to have kiddies and I think we've been quite lucky as my DSS seems to like the idea but we have talked about it every now and again to get him used to it before it actually happens...and talking about how exciting it will be and DSS came up with the idea he could be in charge of creating a PlayStation account for the new baby when it does arrive (DSS is 8 and this obviously felt like a very important job for him )