Aibu

[cappy123]

On holiday right now with DH, DSD and her friend (both 17). Been slightly stressful as accommodation not been sorted in advance - sorted as we've gone along. DH and I went to an open air gig, girls hung around town then went back to the apartment. DH then went back, then me 10 mins later, DH and I discussed this, me returning a tad later. Phone dead so left it in apartment before leaving, as communicated to everyone. Got back, communal entry main door normally open was closed. Buzzed up - all 3 supposedly in - no reply though. V public entrance, shop owner next door had a key and let me in after trying to communicate in various languages. Get to our door ring buzzer for ages, no reply. Thought they've all gone out. So I'm stuck in stairwell.

DH then comes in main door on phone to DSD in the apartment. Obviously I'm surprised to see him, didn't know until I realised he was on phone to DSD if the girls were with him too. I ask what's going on can't get into the flat. He says gone to look for me, realised I didn't have my phone. The gig is 90 secs walk from the apartment. DSD, probably now hearing me through the phone, opens up apartment door.

I assumed he'd told the girls I'd be back soon after he got in, so they weren't surprised to hear me coming/ringing. Or maybe they assumed we were back together when they saw him. Either way I thought he'd be there to open up, as he wasn't I thought the girls would at least answer. My husband said he was glad they didn't open up. I said fair enough but they could at least asked who is it via the intercom phone to the main door, or after I knocked on the apartment door. AIBU? I need to make sure we resolve this as our conflict resolution is often flaky.

Why are you making a big deal of this? Things like this happens. You chose not to charge your phone so you could stay in contact and not to go back with your husband, so half of the issue is your fault.

It's annoying to be in this situation, a bit frightening, and yes, self-absorbed teenagers are annoying, but still mewling over it the day after and calling it conflict, especially when on holiday is over the top. What is there to resolve?

You're supposed to have fun and relax, so put it behind you and make sure you have a charged phone before you go out.

Thank you. We've all had issues with phone charging. Last night 2 of the 4 of us had dead phones. Cable in, go back and check couple hours later it's fallen out. Last night it happened to me and one of the girls, noticed it hadn't charged just before we went out, we didn't choose to have no contact. The girls were wandering around the town and we met them every half hour due to the phone issue, before letting them back to the flat when they were ready.

Yes we're supposed to be relaxing and holidays are flashpoints points for many couples, and this one is lovely but testing at times for us. We can't really afford it, DH having booked it and misunderstood accommodation arrangements, causing lots of financial fall out. Another story. We think we may have left a good charger at a previous accommodation actually... anyway.

I was surprised that the girls didn't answer is all and think it was fair in the circs they should have. I simply wanted to make sure we're understanding each other, so unresolved small things don't fester.

Anyway spoken with DH this morning we both saw things from the others pov. I thanked him for coming back for me, he hadn't told the girls he'd do that, and he agreed that its reasonable in most circs that they should answer a knocked door.

I know this all sounds silly, things get misconstrued and heightened quickly of we're not careful, much less when we're abroad, worried about finances etc

Get a power bank. Keep it charged and with you at all times so you can always charge your phone in emergencies.

Makes holidays much easier.

Got 3 with us cab so 7 devices between us 4! . So either they or the phones are being charged. We'll buy more charger leads.

I'm not sure I understand the point here. There were 2 17 year olds inside the apartment but they couldn't or wouldn't answer the intercom to you to let you in?
Why on earth not? None of this makes sense.

Either

1. Too scared to answer, thinking we were both out
2. Assumed one of us was in to answer so ignored
3. Didn't hear, unlikely after ringing actual apartment door
4. Asleep, again unlikely apartment buzzer v loud, you can hear neighbours' buzzers when they ring
5. Instructed by DH not to answer
6. Something else

I'm big on safety, work in safeguarding etc but it's a job to get DSD to answer the door back home, she's been quite coddled or 'so kidified' as she calls it. She's very aware of this and the impact on her, she brings it up when we chat.

Either

1. Too scared to answer, thinking we were both out
2. Assumed one of us was in to answer so ignored
3. Didn't hear, unlikely after ringing actual apartment door
4. Asleep, again unlikely apartment buzzer v loud, you can hear neighbours' buzzers when they ring
5. Instructed by DH not to answer
6. Something else

I'm big on safety, work in safeguarding etc but it's a job to get DSD to answer the door back home, she's been quite coddled or 'so kidified' as she calls it. She's very aware of this and the impact on her, she brings it up when we chat.

But you must know which one of those it was, surely you asked them, or could see if they were asleep or awake?

A pair of near adults too scared to answer an intercom? For what reason could that be scary? That is a serious problem.

If you can't afford it , and something as minor as this incident is creating such drama and stress why not just head for home .

No could not hear them, hence why thought they could have all gone out again e.g to find something lost. It was gone 1am. Turns out as I thought they were in but thought DH was in too having heard both buzzers. We're not heading home due to a bit of stress and financial strain! We'll learn the lessons. Just wanted to know if ppl thought was BU! Shouldn't have dripfed sorry. 😊

Well if it makes you feel better, when I was about 8, my mum took me to my grand mother where I was due to stay for the week-end whilst my mum was off who knows where! Long before the life of mobile phones! Knock and knock on the door, waited, nothing. Somehow, my mum thought that whatever she was up to was more important than my security so she knocked on next door neighbour (who I'd never met, let alone spoken to before, nor my mum) and asked if they would look after me until my grand mother was home, except that we never got an answer from further knocks on the door so ended up spending the night at neighbour (who Thank God were absolutely lovely!)

Following day, knocked again, and grand mother opened asking me where I'd been...turned out she'd been home the entire time, but somehow didn't hear a thing.... it's only many years later that I realised she did have a bit of an issue with the bottle!

Anyway, just trying to diffuse the tension... hope you're having a great day on holiday!

You're not making sense at all. Once you got into the house, then you surely knew why they hadn't let you in. So why are you listing all the possible reasons they might not have let you in?

And you still haven't said what is so terrifying to a 17 year old about answering a buzzer.

You missed my last post toosexy it was 2. Plenty of adults don't open their door if not expecting anyone. We have 4 extra charge leads now, no excuse.

DH then went back, then me 10 mins later

Had you had a row? That would kind of explain stuff.

Yes it would. We went to a gig with traditional acts from around the world. Had been really looking forward to it. Each act was at least 20 mins (8 countries) and it didn't start till 10. It was actually freezing and many people had fleeces and jackets but were leaving before the end. We almost left earlier ourselves at least twice, DH had my scarf towards the end and I was already in a huge (one of his old) fleece. All this to say that the cold got to him first so he Ieft about 10 mins from the end then I left. Bless him he then came back when he saw my phone to find me, we missed each other, confusion with the girls, etc. I did snap at him when he said he was glad they didn't open the door, but no row. All clearer, all of us explaining and listening by the afternoon.