New younger stepmum - help!

[sistermoon86]

I have recently moved city to be with my partner, he is in the process of going through a divorce (as am I) and has two children, a son at 11 and a daughter at 5. He has full time custody of his son (his sons choice) and has his daughter every other weekend. I have a great relationship with both children, we gradually introduced them to them and built slowly from there. I always maintained that I would be a 'friend' not a parent - as they have a mother. However, not that I am living here I now realise that I was play a parental role of sorts. It's all new to me, and I'm learning all of the time. I always try to do my best but there are trials and tribulations along the way (particularly with the ex wife). I'm hoping this forum will help give me a steer when needed. Any advice would be welcome!

keep doing what you are doing! being their friend is important, but yes you will need to have a parental role of sorts, especially with the child living with you.

As a starter I would suggest sitting down with your DP and discussing your role in things like discipline, childcare responsibilities, financials etc so that things are clear from the outset. Your role will develop organically the longer you are part of the family but these are things I wish that someone had told me about when I first moved in with DP!

Your relationship with his son will naturally be different to that of his daughter, 1) because he is older and 2) you will be living with him. Be very cautious that your role in regards her will be different and that both kids are given an explanation of that.

Good luck!! It is by no means an easy role, but is exceptionally rewarding

Are you able to be more specific OP about the issues that are causing difficulties. Tis a hard road to travel and that's for sure and you'll need every ounce of resilience you have, and then some...............but you sound so nice and so willing to make it work.