Is this an empty threat for attention or a genuine cry for help

[36plusandtrying]

Hi,

I have posted earlier about a concern that DH ex has been asking us for money (again). The situation has worsened, she is now declaring that she will be homeless in a matter of weeks unless we can give her $4k to move into a new rental property. She is suggesting that my husband takes out a payday loan (without telling me) if we don't have the money at hand to help. Failing this she will take their son and move into temp accommodation (caravan park) if we don't help. She has a sister, parents and a large circle of friends through church around her. These episodes seem common when things for us seem to be going well or we have an upcoming event. (Both true for us right now) I don't really know what to think - obviously we will offer to have SS full time while she sorts things out - but I doubt she will agree to this. How do we know this is a genuine emergency or a huge cry for attention ?

OP - did you say in your previous thread that your DH and his ex have shared custody? If so, it's perfectly reasonable to say you'll take DSS while she finds somewhere to live. She works, your DH pays maintenance and obviously pays for a house for his son and pays for his son whilst he's with you guys, so absolutely no way do I think that your DH should pay her a penny to get a new home. As long as he is providing a safe environment for his son and paying his maintenance and being a good father, the mother's bad life choices are not his problem. Especially at a cost of 4K?! That's absurd!

Now if she was asking for £400, maybe that would be different, but who the hell has £4K lying about to give an ex cos she's split up with her boyfriend again and needs a deposit for a place to live?? And to suggest he takes a pay day loan behind your back to give her the money?! Is she for real??

Yes we have an eoww arrangement - we have pushed for more but she won't allow it. I'm glad that most seem to agree that the ask for money is a bit much. I was starting to doubt that saying no was the right thing to do, obviously I wouldn't want to be to blame for making someone homeless. My husband told her yesterday that we would not help financially but more that happy to have his son come to stay with us on a temp measure, with Easter holidays approaching he would be visiting more anyway. This lead to a huge and upsetting barrage of abuse to us both saying that we are trying to take her son away from her. She now wants her child support for 3 months upfront .... Which we have refused. This resulted in her refusing to allow SS to come over as planned this weekend. Think there is a cash flow issue in the business and she is looking for us to bail her out. She has previously asked for support payments upfront and also a 25k investment in her business from my husband .... But don't tell your wife she would never understand ! It's nuts