Want a baby but it's insane!

[Welshmamma]

Hi

I have a beautiful family.... three kids.... found a lovely man who I married last year after years of physical and emotional abuse. I also have four step children. Three live with me.

Until last year I hadn't even entertained the idea of more children. I am forty two and two of my friends had babies at 42 and I remember thinking they were mental!!!

Out of nowhere I am beside myself with grief!! I want a baby with this man who treats me like a person that he loves and respects. I have never been made to feel loved and treasured but I do and I want to share a child with him!

BUT he has the snip about ten years ago! We will have to save for a reversal and I am old!! But the time we get it done I may have dried up!!!

I should be greatful I have what I have. But I am being really honest and i find it painful to think he has shared something with another woman that I will never be able to .... and it's pants x in fact it bloody hurts!!

I know I should man up and move on but I am struggling ....

I love his kids and I wouldn't ever make them feel like crap because they aren't responsible for how I feel x

I've never wanted kids but had a Sussex bout of broodiness at 39...just before perimenopausal stupidity started. Friend was the same, never wanted kids then had sudden what she described as batshit crazy desire to have one in her late 40s. I think it'd natures way of saying one last chance...

It passed with us both, I'm so relieved.

Not Sussex... Sudden!

Thanks everyone Feel slightly better about these absolutely crazy feelings!
Think I will always always feel a little regretful that we met tom late for kids together but I am very very grateful for the lovely family we have between us.
Hopefully the brooding will pass.... I'm sure I am heading for menopause so hopefully won't be long!