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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

I need some kind words....

11 replies

AlwaysTheMummy · 19/02/2007 19:17

Hey girls, for all that know we have 2 dsk's for the week due to half term, I have made a huge turnaround in enjoying their company (if you read my previous post you'll know why, lol) and I was really proud of myself for actually feeling it and not pretending, we have been having lots of fun but about 10 minutes ago the kids wanted to ring their mum, which is totally cool but when she asked dss how he and my son were getting on (dss is 8 and ds is 3) he just replied, 'he's just annoying' that really hurt and upset me, all ds has been doing is trying to play but dss just wants to watch telly, to ds defense he's had to share his room, his toys, our attention, everything and he's taking it all in his stride and is loving their company but it seems like dss is expecting to have the last word of everything, I know he's 8, and I'm giving him allowances cos I dont know what it's like to have an 8 year old but he's making snide nasty comments to ds, why do you think he's doing it, I don't think it could be jealousy, I'm not angry just really upset that he just thinks ds is annoying, he's a lovely little boy.

I'm trying not to cry while I write this, I would like an insight to 8 year olds lol and if this is normal behaviour xx

OP posts:

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danceswithnewboots · 19/02/2007 19:21

Maybe he doesn't want his mum to know how much fun he has been having? Just a thought.

danceswithnewboots · 19/02/2007 19:23

In case her feelings are hurt is what I mean. Also (as a teacher) I can tell you that children are ALWAYS claiming other children are annoying them and then go on to play with them the next minute. I understand why but I think you may be being a bit oversensitive.

BuffysMum · 19/02/2007 19:25

Yes that is 8 year olds!!!! There is 5.5 years between my eldest 2 dds that is what it is like between them - it's normal sibling rivilary I think. I keep telling my 10 year she is only 4!!!!! Stop provoking her/reacting to her! Little ones are annoying to them - honest! I also think he is not going to tell his Mum that he is having a good time.

pollyanna · 19/02/2007 19:28

my 8 year old calls his 2 and 4 year old sisters annoying all the time - especially when he is trying to watch television or play his x-box.

Original poster

AlwaysTheMummy · 19/02/2007 19:28

you're right with the oversensitive bit, always have been, lol, but also I've had to deal with him being rejected by my in laws aswell so always defensive of him xx

OP posts:

detoxdiva · 19/02/2007 19:45

My dsd (8 yo) will never have a good word to say about dd (1 yo) to her mum, as her mum just makes snidey comments about dd (jealousy?) so dsd loyalties are divided, hence the 'bovvered' responses

Try not to let it get to you - and keep enjoying your time together.

Original poster

AlwaysTheMummy · 19/02/2007 20:47

thanks for your responses girls, feel much better that its quite normal and he probably doesn't mean anything by it.

Dss is more for his mum than his dad iykwim so I can see that he wouldn't want his mum to think he's having a good time, dsd is completely different she couldn't wait to say how excellent everything was and how much fun they were having, lol, but we all get on well me, dh and dsk's mum so no jealousy or anything like that, and I know she would want the kids to have a good time.

But thanks again xx

OP posts:

Aloha · 19/02/2007 20:50

Have a stepdaughter of 15 and two children 5 and 2 and just have to say how much I agree with everyone else. In fact I've just been chatting to my stepdaughter on the phone who has said to her little brothers (that she lives with) 'Go away X, you are really annoying' and 'No, Y, I am not going anywhere with YOU!'. She loves 'em really!

colditz · 19/02/2007 20:51

I found my brother very annoying when I was 8 and he was 3. when we weren't playing really really well, that is.

3 year old boys are just gorgeous though aren't they? But he is only getting an experiance of a pretty normal older brother. This is quite normal.

Original poster

AlwaysTheMummy · 19/02/2007 21:41

like I said above my ds has been rejected by my husbands family so it would break my heart if his brother didn't like him, but they do get on really well so I was just be overly sensitive thinking woe is me, nobody likes him, lol.

Colditz little boys in general are gorgeous, just biased as I don't have a daughter but at 3 they are just cheeky little chappies, do you have a 3 year old?

In years to come he will be the 8 year old telling his younger siblings that they are annoying and I wont bat an eyelid but I don't have experience of 8 yr olds just yet so it was a bit of a shock to hear it, but I'm all better now and the 2 boys are sitting on the same couch watching telly together so thats a good sign.

They are very alike in too, they have the same traits and even look similar which is very strange cos ds looks like me and dss looks like his mum, weird xx

OP posts:

colditz · 19/02/2007 22:51

Yes, I have a 3 (nearly 4) year old. And he's lovely, but he has a younger brother, and spends most of the day bossing him around.

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