It's difficult to love the obnoxious fecker!

[Carmenere]

Just that really, dd (2.11) is a sick and whiny poor little thing atm. Dss 18 has a cold and is being obnoxious, sullen, rude and varying between antagonising dd and ignoring her when she needs a cuddle
Now I know he is feeling sorry for himself but if I am honest I feel that I am not as sympathetic as I would be if I was his mum.
If I was his mum I would be able to deal with the casual rudeness and generally treating me as if I am running a hotel better. ARGH.

He's a teenager! They are all the same. And one day your dd will be just like it - honest! You say it yourself, your dd has a cold and is 'sick and whiny' and your dss has a cold and is 'obnoxious and sullen' - snap!
I am a stepmother btw, and I know it can sometimes stab your heart when your teenage stepchild blanks your baby, but they do it to their other sibs too, it's normal.

Hey, but you are not his mum, so this stuff about step-parents are supposed to feel the same as birth parents is a load of old tosh (perpetuated by people who clearly aren't step-parents!)

I have a 19yo dsd and I know how hard it can be sometimes. If you can, just try and focus on dd and screen out the bits you don't like.

I think even if he were your own you would still feel exasperated and impatient with his behaviour. Your little dd is ill, she's too little to know why she feels so rotten, and he's being a selfish primadonna. Which is normal, but so are your feelings

Oh I know you are right but it is just galling that he considers himself to be an adult because he can get served and yet is behaving like a bloody child.
But if I was his mum I would feel 'aw poor thing' and I do try, really I do but actually he is just irritating me Generally he is fine but today he is a prat.

He is getting more love from you, even when you are a bit cheesed off with him, than he would ever get from Mad Mary.

Oh I know I am about to go into the kitchen to prepare a balanced vegetarian meal for him, he fell on his feet here! And I do love him but it is just like having a big sullen useless lump loafing around, making a mess and leaving his big shoes everywhere

Ah I feel better now, mumsnet rocks

I don't have anu teenagers of my own, or step teens, but I teach a lot of them.

In many ways they are just very big toddlers. And like toddlers their life in changing in ways they don't fully understand, and they push the boundaries all the time. Like toddlers they are programmed to do this. Even the very nicest ones can be an utter PITA at times

I've heard plenty of mums of sulky lumpen teenaged boys saying exactly the same thing. Only a saint would think "aw, poor thing"

And you are STILL cooking him his veggie dinner - you're treating him as well as any mum would and better than a lot would!

Carmenere - just wanted to say thanks and for the really funny thread title - made me laugh instantly with what is turning out to be a tough night. xxx