Hello, Please Help.
Looking for advice from step-mothers. I have 3 step sons (ages 14,12,9)and a 19 month old of our own. my stepsons live with us - visiting their mum 2 nights a week. Their dad was on his own with them for 5 years before meeting me. I have to admit, rather foolishly, that I find it difficult that they still don't view me as a mother figure of any kind even after 3 years and show no respect towards me. When they come in from school I now just let them do their own thing as it innevitably ends up in arguements otherwise. Apart from being told that nothing I do is as good as their mum (which unfortunately makes me feel rather insecure about the way I am mothering my only son), their dad has an unusually "very friendly" relationship with her. Phone calls are jokey and rather intimate and she always manipulates him into doing what suits her. You may think that there sounds some jealousy on my part - I suppose yes in many ways it is. I would love for our weeks/weekends to be planned in advance (to include what is suitable for us) and for the boys to realise that I do everything for them because I think of us as a family unit. I care for them all very much. Should I back off and try and be more of a friend or keep trying to make our house a happy home. Lost for what to try next.