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Am I being selfish?

26 replies

izzybobsmum · 07/02/2007 12:47

My family consists of myself, my dh and my dd (1) with my ss (12) living with us for half the week. My dh and I would like to move away from the (grotty) town we live in and start a new life somewhere else in the country. We always said that we would wait until ss has finished secondary school before we go (in 5 years time)and then he could make his own decision as to whether he came with us or not.

However, my dream job has come up and I would really like to apply for it. It would mean moving down south but is a great career opoortunity for me. My dh has told me to apply for the job, but is fairly unenthusiastic - he has said that he would move, but I don't think he actually means it. Is it too much to expect my dh to leave his ss behind now? I would love it if his ss came with us, but I think he would choose to stay with his mum. He would miss his sister, whom he adores, and is it fair to take her away from him?

My dream job probably won't come up again and it seems such a shame to miss the opportunity to move away from the grotty tow we live in - a town which I really don't want to bring my dd up in. Your opinions would be gratefully received.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AlwaysTheMummy · 19/02/2007 20:07

why don't you ask dss what he wants to do, if he just wants to come every fortnight for a weekend or on school holidays, as you said he is finding it a struggle, he might want to spend more weekends at his mums to be with his friends but doesn't want to upset his dad.

Our situation was dsk's mother moved 300 miles away from us, so dh went from seeing them all the time to every few months, so it was different for us, but now dsk's have their own life and they visit us on holidays or we go down to them, they're not missing out on the fun part of growing up and going on trips with friends and basically being included.

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