Been with dp for 4 years. We live together. He has 1 ds and I have 3 dc's.
His ds decided he didn't want to come to ours anymore or have any contact with us so dp sees him on his own. His mum said he hated all of us and shouldn't have to spend a minute with us. Personally I don't think he does hate us- I think it's a case of getting used to a blended family and different rules in different houses. My own dc's have struggled. It takes patience and work to overcome.
I think it's vital dp spends the majority of his time with his ds but I do think maybe dp should try and include him with us too even bringing him for dinner once a fortnight and building up. It's like the elephant in the room and never gets discussed. If I bring it up he won't discuss it. He says his ds should have the choice. Funnily enough he doesn't feel the same about my eldest dc having that same choice - he has really struggled and I am working hard to deal with that.
We have not seen his ds for 2 years - are we ever going to be able to have a future with this situation. I just find it so odd that dp won't even try to make little steps.