....how do you not let it consume you?
My oh had an awful breakup with his ex. One day he came home and shed kicked him out, moving in her boyfriend she met at the gym.
Since then it's as though she has made it her personal vendetta to make his life a misery.
Pretty much every day she will send him an email about how he is a crap dad. They have shared care and he is amazing with his DC. He really is. His children often say that mummy would never do that (as in bake cakes etc).
The stuff she says is just laughable. Like his eldest was upset that daddy didn't put him on the swing first. That he gave them cheese sandwiches when the eldest had said he wanted tuna. That he needs to make more effort to get things right. That he's an awful dad because he doesn't buy their clothes from next.
It's petty stuff like that - along with some harsh unnecessary comments. It's as though when she gets the DC back she quiZzes them about their time with their dad and chooses stuff to have a go about.
He printed the most recent version of her moans and it was 3 pages of A4. None of it has any bearing on bringing up a child!
He has only once stood up (not physically) to the ex (about 7 months ago) and said she's being unreasonable and it resulted in her boyfriend turning up and beating him up. With the ex being their too and spitting at him. Their DC were in the car too.
My oh reported it but eventually dropped charges as he didn't want to make matters worse.
It's as though she justifies her infidelity by trying to vilify him. Her eldest is struggling with their split - even now and I think it's because she uses him to gleem information - using him a bit like a pawn/spy.
Things have calmed down now in that communication is only via email, which has helped, but it's still regular. I want to support my OH as its not nice to hear lies and be bullied like this all the time, but at the same time I feel that I would rather not know!