Why do men...

[Wdigin2this]

....think that if they brush a problem under the carpet, or put their heads in the sand.....the problem will go away?! And why is 'talking the situation over, with a view to resolving it' always construed as nagging?!!!

Thanks for your messages. Yes, it isn't fair, but I don't care because I am very proud of our children and that's all that matter. He hasn't contributed financially, but he is giving them what matters the most I think and that is love. He does adore them and they know it. Much better than if he was contributing a large sum every month but had no interest in interacting with them.

Maybe your DP feels that by giving in to her demands, it gives him a sense of validation that he is a good dad. I'm in my 40s and my dad still loves to give me money. When I was a kid, he used to love giving me a few coins secretly. Maybe it put a huge smile on his face and that made him happy? Every summer we go on holiday to see him, he gives an envelop with spending money (and quite a lot). I have told him and over that we don't need it (didn't really need it when I was a single mum, certainly not now), but it makes no difference, he just likes doing it. I genuinely know that it would hurt his feelings much more if I refused it than accepting it showing how grateful I am (which I am).

It is different though because I have always been independent and have never asked for any money. Your SD sound like one of those people who get complacent in their role of victims and your DP loves the feeling he gets that he is 'rescuing' her?

Fair enough Swing, and you're quite right she's a 'very hard done by 'victim'!