My first post on step parenting so please be gentle - is this a nice thing to do?

[Newtothisbutanoldhand]

Hi all,

Hope you won't mind me posting here. I am not a fully time step parent but I am after some help and advice.

Ok brief history, I'm a single mum to dd (8) met a lovely guy that has a dd (8) almost exactly the same age as my dd. he's just lovely we have known each other for 18months, been dating for 6months. He is not a Disney day and has a great relationship with his dd

We have been taking things slowly.

I work near him and live in a different part of the country. So we are only able to meet up when I am near him for work. This has worked well for us as we both have come out of unpleasant relationships and wanted to take things slowly.

Anyway, to the question. The next time we are meeting up he has suggested that I might like to meet his dd (she has started a hobby that I'm a qualified instructor in so we are planning on doing that hobby, and I can maybe help her out a little - very chilled, relaxed sort of thing) anyway so two questions

1 - I was going to take her a couple of things I know she doesn't have but need for this hobby nothing expensive, but thing she will need and use daily in this hobby. Do you think this is ok?

2 - it's her dad birthday a week later (she idolises her dad) historically there has been no one to even take her and get her a card (no family near by and her mother is not willing) assuming when we meet up she is happy would it be odd to offer to take her if she would like? Not literally take her. but there is a big shopping centre where her dad and I where thinking we might get a bite to eat after the activity if everything goes well (there is a big card shop almost opposite the food court - so we could pop in there)

It's a very odd situation for me, because I've heard so much about this little girl for 18months and things are going very well between her dad and I. I'm don't want to over step the mark. Please be gentle with me, I'm worried enough about this as it.

I'm I'm no rush to be a step parent not because I'm frightened of it, it's like being a mum it's gives you best highs ever and the worst lows I'm sure. But because her dad and I are no where never that stage in our relationship, we are very much taking things slow and are happy with that, whilst I do view at as a big step that I've been introduced to his daughter, I'm not thinking ohhh first step to being a step parent iyswim more first step to getting to know this little girl. I'd never disopline another persons child unless they did something that would cause them or someone else harm at which point I would step in but only if db wasn't there.

Db has just called me and asked if I would be happy to go shopping with them week after next, apparently the little girl needs some girls help.

You sound absolutely lovely OP and I really hope everything continues to go well for you all :)

Thanks hobbitmum, I've been having a miserable time of it and that's a really nice thing to hear.

i know op just want to say - you're at that stage now but before you know it , time gets away from you and you'll be a fully fledged step parent (dont have to be married for that to apply in my opinion)

Itll just be insiduous. sounds like you made a good impression on the girl anyway