Socialising or see NRP?

[thegreenhen]

I have 4 step children.

The youngest is age 12. She has started to want to socialise both in our "time" and in mums "time".

My dp doesn't really want this as he feels that he doesn't see her enough as it is.

She lives with us a third of the time.

My two older step daughters have got to age 18 years old and just sat with us all of contact time with no conversation or time of any quality.

What do other families do?

He tried to compromise today and let her go to a friends after school for a couple of hours but she wanted to stay at the friends for dinner and my dp said no.

She's had dinner with us, then just been monosyllabic with us or sat in her room on her phone. She's been here but not really communicated with any of us.

I

MsRamone - presumably, your DS is still making a choice to comply with his dads insistence on contact, rather than him actually "having to"?

No his dad forces him. When DS was in the middle of his GCSEs and just wanted to chill with his mates on a weekend his father refused to let him insisting that access weekend must go ahead. In fact - when DS got his Saturday job his dad went in a strop saying he should be getting a job that interferes with access weekend!! It's absolutely bonkers.

*shouldnt

That's really odd ramone You're DS's dad has no rights at all to insist his 18 year old visits each weekend. He's an adult, he can stay where he likes.

No his dad forces him

Physically?

It sounds like your SCs would benefit from support to develop the skills to put their own needs ahead of the obligation they feel towards their dad.

*DCs, not SCs - sorry!