Just a question, not a matter of life or death

[WSM123]

Just after an opinion or two before I say something (or don't). 6 year old DSS was being a little horror this weekend and his dad broke out "im going to tell your mum", It worked but I don't think its a good option because it takes away his parental power so to speak, I would have preferred he said something like "Im your father when you are here you do as I say".
what do you think?

I'd agree with you, that it's not the best way of showing him you're the parent really is it? It's also best to try and leave the disciplining separate between the two houses as much as possible I think. ie don't generally expect his DM to punish him for whatever he did at your house.

That said, we all lose our rag sometimes and say things the, with hindsight, aren't always the best things to say.

Maybe have a think about some sanctions you could use for when he's a horror - I used to give my DD 2p fines that that age. She usually got a warning first to stop messing around, and then got fined if she didn't improve. If she carried on after I'd fined her, I'd fine her again! It worked really well because they were such a small penalty that I didn't hesitate to implement it, and she knew it. We had a chart on the kitchen wall showing how much she owed (it also had stars for good behaviour).

The system worked well, but it got harder with DSS (same age as DD) who I didn't feel I could fine because it wasn't us who gave him his pocket money so we ended up switching to a loss of computer time with him instead.

Thanks pink, that's a good idea, he earns coins for his piggy bank kept at our place and is quite money oriented at the moment so making him give some back would probably work wonders. and it would stop my partner undermining himself as a parent figure :-)

Agree the wrong way to say it.
Whilst EX does not see his DCs v often, they all know that bad behaviour in either place is discussed between us everytime and no computer in one house for bad behaviour means no computer in the other house for the time it is imposed. If that crosses contact time - so be it.

I will discuss this with you mother- would be a better way to put it. Give it the seriousness that they understand it is not kids telling tales.