Background - I have two children with my ex and a 4 month old baby with DP. DP was a part of dd2s life from when she was 4 months old and dd1s life from 2 1/2 years. In the last five years DP has raised the girls who see ex twice a month for a 24 hour visit. We are currently in the process of having dd1 formally diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome as we need more support managing her quirks. I can honestly say than DP treats all three girls equally.
However DP is worried as he feels he has a much better bond with dd2&3. Dd1 had one of her meltdowns yesterday as DH was going through dd2s baby photos and telling her stories and comparing her to dd3. Dd1 wanted DH to do the same with her and he tried but doesn't really know much about dd1s babyhood and she got very upset. DH feels much more attached to dd2&3 which I can understand but is worried that despite him treating them the same dd1 is picking up on it.
So what can we do to help dd1 feel secure and attached?