why is everything i say or do a problem??

[Neverenuff]

I really am not having a good time of it just now. I feel so unsupported by dp at every turn. Tonight dss asked if dog could go out wkh him and I said no.He then asked his dad who I informed that I had already said no. Dp said to dss if 'never' said no then it's no. All fine. Until dss went out and I got questioned why the dog couldn't go.

I didn't realise I had to justify my answers to everyone.
Btw the reason I said no was because just 20 minutes earlier dsd was winding the dog up and tormenting him and dog was getting aggitated by him. So I said no. But .Why am I having to explain myself????

because it was the reasonable and mature thing to do given the context?

or are you this monosyllabic dictatorial in every other aspect of life?

Dictorial really!! The OP explains why the dog wasn't going DMM1 and is completely justified or would you rather the dog bit/hurt or was hurt by the child?
OP it's a step thing, if you say no to the 'little darlings' you will always have to explain why... or in my case I just give a look as if to say fuck off!!
BUT he did back you up to the dss which is good, sit him down (DH) and talk.

I am a step parent and I would give anything for a dp like yours who would say to his children "If Hormonal says no it's no". He did the correct thing and stood by you in front of dss. He waited till in private to question you, which couldn't be fairer or more correct.

You have to explain yourself because that's what people do in a partnership, we don't all think the same, so have to explain our decisions. If you don't want to, don't have a partner!

Because you are a couple, that is what couples do.
He backed up your decision - hardly unsupportive. Unsupportive would have been overruling you and saying yes take the dog.
Instead he stood by it and agreed with you despite not knowing why and waited until a better time to ask why

I know what he did was correct(albeit he didn't seem to agree fully) and I know I haven't been clear. There are just other occasions where I feel unsupported. I've never questioned dp as to why he has said no to the kids. So why is he asking me?

Maybe unsupported isn't the right word. Undermined maybe. I'm a second thought on any decisions regarding the kids despite this being my home too. Days out for example- he arranges with kids then I get asked if I want to tag along. I feel he should be talking to me about how we spend our time with the kids especially when it's funded by 'our' money.

Ifeel like I can't say no to the kids without it being questioned by dp all the time. I ask them to do something I get asked why I'm asking them to do it- eh cause it needs done and I'm not a frickin maid.

I get so frustrated and then I try and vent here and I get all jumbled and flustered and make no sense.