don't want to go and celebrate dsd's birthday. knock some sense into me.

[redgoat]

I just really don't want to. She's 18 in a couple of weeks. DH has got her a lovely gift, taken her birthday off work so he can go and see her. Her mother text the other day to invite us to a meal the weekend after. When dh checked if we were all invited and did she wasn't us to bring anything, he was told she'd let him know how much it all cost and he could pay something towards it. It's probably going to be at her (mother) boyfriend's house.

I just don't want to go. I have tried so hard to be the best step mother possible, facilitated things between ALL of then when things have been tricky over the years.

Far too much to type but I'm just over it to be honest. I can't think of a better phrase. They have treated my dh and kids like shit over the years. We're lucky if dsd comes to our house once a year. She has forgotten all of our birthdays over the last few years (dh & dd's twice) and only ever rings when she wants money (and never says thank you). I keep being told (and I used to be the one saying) she'll 'grow up' and appreciate just some of the things dh has done for her when she gets older but her ambivalence to us just seems to get worse.

I know I need to put on a happy face and suck it up but I really really don't want to.

She's been a selfish teenager, sounds quite similar to many Her age. She will hopefully look back in a few years and be ashamed of her poor behaviour and be a better person.

It's her 18th, don't cast a shadow over it, nobody will thank you for it. If she still behaves badly in the months/years after, look to address the issue head on or distance yourself from her.

Thank you. I hope she does start to realise as it's been very hurtful all round and excuse after excuse is made for her.

I shall plaster a smile on.

Go to the party, plaster on a smile and get through it! It's one day, you can handle that, and you'll be able to hold your head up and say...'well I did everything I could'!

I'm going to go against the grain here and say life is too short to waste time doing things we don't want to do. I'd have a 'tummy bug' that day and let your DH pass on your apologies. You can use that day to do something you want to do, catch up with an old friend, book a spa day, have your hair done etc.
you won't be thanked for going, sounds like DSD won't be sad if you don't go.

I'd suck it up but I'd refuse to contribute cash and bring some sort of food or drink contribution.