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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Toilet flushing - or lack of it

18 replies

Needaglassofwinedotcom · 05/05/2015 15:50

Not necessarily a sk issue so also posted in behaviour.

2 of my dss do not flush the toilet, age 7 and 15 so old enough to know better.

Fed up of a stinky house.

Any tips to crack this as clearly showing them the flush and ranting had not worked.

Dad says i've no chance of cracking it. The other 2 ds manage to find the flush!

I'm thinking of striking and refusing to clean unflushed toilets! Dss live with me in the week, hubby works away.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AddictedtoGreys · 05/05/2015 16:05

my 7 year old DSD is exactly the same!!

Themrmen · 05/05/2015 17:42

My 2 dsc are the same, said do you flush at your mums house, yes apparently they do, not sure why they fail to manage it at ours

Bahh · 05/05/2015 18:40

My SD forgets to flush, wash her hands, close the door and turn the light off. We have to remind her every time. Some kids just don't think about it. Adults are the same, no matter how many times OH tells me to put the towels back in the bathroom when I've finished with them I will never, ever remember. Just like he will never, ever remember to pick up his dirty socks when he takes them off. It's just not on the radar. Accept that you have to remind them each time or suck it up and do it yourself. Striking is just making things unpleasant for yourselves, they certainly won't care if it's sparkly clean or not.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/05/2015 18:42

Do you have more than one toilet, and if so, could you restrict the non-flushers to one loo - then if they don't flush, they will have to encounter the stink the next time they go?

NorahDentressangle · 05/05/2015 19:03

Could you let them know you are going to write to the school to see if the child psychologist will do some work with them as you are concerned about how they will socialize in the future with this problem

Would that freak them out and make them flush???

chocolateyy · 05/05/2015 19:09

Do they wash their hands?

If they do, could you put a sign above the sink with blue tack reminding them?

I don't think refusing to clean will impact them in any way.

glittertits · 05/05/2015 19:17

I;d be taking away a privilege for every non-flush. I'm usually quite lax, but this I would have no tolerance for whatsoever.

yellowdaisies · 05/05/2015 19:54

I find that small fines (eg 10p) each time they do it work very well for that sort of thing, though you'd need to be able to tell whose fault it was each time.

Mostlyjustaluker · 05/05/2015 19:59

Have you asked them why they don't do it? When I was little I thought the scary man on the painting on the stairs would get me if he heard me so I did not flush the toliet. Nobody asked why I did not flush it so I never told anybody.

riverboat1 · 05/05/2015 21:04

My DSS is also patchy when it comes to flushing. He's nearly 10, and to be fair he is better than he used to be. It's turned into bit of a joke/competition now, sometimes as he is leaving the toilet he flushes and immediately calls 'I flushed it!' and gives me a smug grin and therefore he 'wins'. But if he makes it out of the toilet and halfway down the stairs and I haven't heard a flush I call 'You forgot to flush!' and therefore I win. He does a mock growl thing but to his credit always goes back to flush it once reminded...

It probably helps that we have a fairly small house and spend a lot of one-on-one time with DSS while he is here so it's easy to catch him when he's just forgotten to flush and remind him, rather than just discover the stinky toilet an hour later...

So yeah, with the 7 year old I'd definitely suggest turning it into a sort of competition/game, because for us it keeps it light but ensures that the toilet does actually get flushed. But don't know what to suggest for your older DSS...can't imagine that a 15 year old would respond in the same way.

Wdigin2this · 05/05/2015 23:06

Did their mothers not teach them to flush, right back when they were toilet training?!!

hoobygalooby · 06/05/2015 12:16

I feel your pain.
DSS has actually mastered the art of flushing after 5 years of nagging but he is still incapable of sending his poo downwards. He always manages to hit the back of the toilet seat and as for wiping his bum – doesn’t happen. This weekend I handed him the bleach, wipes and a loo brush and told him to clean it himself and told him his mucky pants would be left on his pillow if he didn’t start wiping properly!! (He’s 13 so old enough to know better!)

fedupbutfine · 06/05/2015 13:23

Did their mothers not teach them to flush, right back when they were toilet training?!!

because that is the mother's sole responsibility, isn't it?

slippermaiden · 06/05/2015 13:27

In our house we say if it's yellow let it mellow, otherwise my water bill would be extortionate! Then when I go I give it a flush, so that solves the problem completely. If anyone can give me any tips to solve the wee on the seat problem is like to hear...

SoldierBear · 06/05/2015 13:33

If they are both NT then there is no excuse.
If they play any sort of game, then they will be able to remember the sequence of events and what they do next. There is nothing complex about pee/poo then flush.
It's laziness/can't be arsed/wind up time.

NorahDentressangle · 06/05/2015 13:59

Wind up time imv - never heard of this being a problem in any household I've come across, younger copying his big brother.

Findingpeace · 06/05/2015 22:28

My dsd lives with us. From the age of 12 to 16 it was hit and miss as to if she flushed. She didn't do it to wind anyone up. She was just lazy/couldn't be arsed/it didn't register with her so she always forgot. It drove me crazy and she was obviously embarrassed when reminded. She's 17 now and almost never forgets. Something changed in her adolescent brain. She now also keeps her room clean and doesn't argue (much) if we ask her to do something. As someone up thread said, for some kids it just doesn't register.

Wdigin2this · 06/05/2015 22:41

Fedup...I used the word 'mothers' in my comment because, in my experience of being a mother, SM, aunt, grand-mother, great-aunt and SGM,it has generally fallen to the female partner to do most of the toilet training...because generally that's just how it is! My comment was not intended to be sexist or to imply that fathers should not share the responsibility because of course they should, it was simply an observation on the lack of 'bathroom etiquette' displayed by the OP's SC!

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