It's just getting worse !

[Mumsy2629]

Now not only is my husband being called for everything because we can't afford to pay half of the childcare bills ( on her days with her son, and on top of all the money we already pay) she's now not letting her son come and stay when he is supposed to, and she's verball abusing my husband at every turn ??

Did he agree to pay them? If you pay csa then childcare unless agreed is up to the mum to pay. Have you got a formal contact order, if not you may need to start the ball rolling of getting the courts involved

No he told her we can't afford to pay as we already give her way more than the csa advised, yes we have a court writ for access, she says its now nik and void as her childcare arrangements have changed? Wtf? It's a legal doc surely they can't go nik and void because she's decided to take a huff? X

Doesn't she get tax credits for childcare?

I have no idea what she recieved I inly know what we are told we have to give her and we give a lot more, xx

If she won't let him stay is she doing all the school pickups now?

How old are they? If they are fairly small you need to get a proper contact order in place now so your DH can establish himself as a real part of their lives and not just as a babysitter for whenever it's convenient for mum.

Doesn't she get tax credits for childcare?

at most she will get 70% for childcare. It is something of a myth that single parents get their childcare paid for in full. Plenty of single parents don't get any tax credit support whatsoever towards their childcare bill.

No I was under no illusion. Have been there myself, back then I got 80% paid and we split the difference. I know the thresholds have changed and its nearer 70% now.

The reason I ask is because my DH knew nothing of tax credits and his ex happily allowed him to pay 50% of the whole bill everyon the. She now does the same with her second ex.

Aside from anything else, as a tax payer I object to covering 70% of someone's childcare costs when they are already being paid for.

She won't let him stay over but has said we have still to do the pick ups 2 days a week after school, we have a court document in place which states we get him every tues 6pm-8pm, every wed 6pm-8pm and every second weekend fri night - sun night. We would like him every weekend but she said no because she needs quality time with him also. We havnt been sticking to that we have collected him mon after school - 7pm (occasionally he stays) we'd after school - till the next morning when we drop him at school and evey second weekend. She sent a text yesterday stating, 'due to childcare changes the court doc is now nil and void' but this can't be right? It's a legal document I'm sure it can be amended but it would have to be done properly, not by a text sent during her episode? The reason she has tried to stop him staying overnight is b cause she has learned that the csa when calculating your maintenance, take into account the amount the child stays over. It's wtong on so many levels.

Also we've kept him half of all school holidays and when she's went away on holiday and when her mother took I'll, no questions asked we have supported her as much as possible x

I think you need to contact your solicitor.
Communicate with her only via text or email so you can prove she is violating the order.
Are the children old enough for you to contact them directly?