Help find a middle ground please (longish)

[namechangeafternamechange]

I originally put this in chat but there was very little interest (far more interesting things to chat about, like how to eat a manchego ) and I was advised to place it here. So here goes......

I didn't really know where to put this...It's not so much an AIBU but rather asking what is reasonable.
I'm going to have to be a little vague as I don't want to stir up a hornets nest!

So OH grew some balls and has finally started to stand up for himself with very bitter exw. As a result, communication is much better and they have started discussing maintenance. OH has always gone through the CSA (his choice) as she refused to accept a noted standing order (that actually said what it was for rather than just an amount that appeared). He has never missed a payment and has never complained goes without saying and he also didn't inform the CSA of a reduced wage as he didn't want his dd to suffer because she would get less money. So bear that all in mind....

She has suggested £100pm and he pays for school uniform. That is £30 more than he currently pays pm, this is following a review by the CSA and he had to send in wage slips to prove his earnings.

TBH he would've been happy with the £100pm but he's a bit miffed about the uniform. His ex refuses to send his dd the 400 miles with any lind of clothing, no coat, no spare knickers....nothing. 3/4 times a year we have to kit her out with an entire, weather appropriate, wardrobe that get gets worn for a maximum of 3 weeks then it's either too small or she needs warmer/cooler clothes. Also coats shoes and any accessories that she wants/needs. A good example is spring/summer last year. Bought cooler clothes for may half term, worn for the week she came, 2 weeks in summer holidays then it was October before she came again...skirts, shorts, vest tops all too cold and too small.

So what's fair? OH is a low earner, I'm mid/average earner. I've said to keep it with the CSA as he is paying what has been judged as fair. As an aside, he has offered on 2 occasions to buy her uniform (when she first started school) and was told thanks but no thanks, so he can't win!

[Mumsy2629]

I am in a simple yet slightly different position, my husband pays for his child, and yet is still being asked for more, ive actually put a post up about it and would really appreciate if you guys could have a read and tell me what you think as Im so stressed about it atm, I wish I could offer you advise but I find myself struggling tooxxx

[littlegreen66]

If you're having to buy clothes that are then too small when your DSD next visits, could you not contribute those (formally documented if necessary) instead of the uniforms?

You shouldn't need to give any more than that on top of what the CMS calculates, unless you can afford it of course.