Visiting step-child at mum's house

[bingobingo]

My stepchild (age 12) is ill -- not seriously but enough to need a few weeks off school. Her mum has always been very acrimonious with my DH and he never goes in their house, he waits outside in the car at pick-ups. Now stepchild is ill and her mum has said (in a very confrontational way) that she thinks DH should visit her at their house. He isn't sure whether to. What do you think? We live two hours away.

Imo of course he should. His child is ill.

Of course he should. It's the only way to see his child while she is ill. Surely that trumps the risk of the mum saying anything.

Yes of course he should visit. I can't believe he is thinking of not seeing her if he can physically get to her bedside and she isn't suffering from a contagious disease. Also if his ex is working he should do his fair share of looking after his DD.

Of course he should

Of course he should, if she needs a few weeks off school then she shouldn't be traveling 2 hours away. Sick child always comes before squabbling adults.

Well the alternative is to not see his dd for several weeks, so he'll have to won't he?

I agree he should, who knows it might even build some bridges for some of the acrimony to die down a bit.

Hope your DSD feels better soon.

I think it's hilarious how narrow minded people can be. Everyone saying 'of course he should' to be fair, in my opinion if that's the case then maybe you could go to, you are family to DH and DSD now! I wonder how many of you who answered are actually step parents

It's probably hard for most people to imagine not seeing their child for several weeks. I'm not sure what you mean by narrow-minded in this case?

I'm not a step parent btw

This isn't about points scoring with mum, if she has offered contact so he can visit his DD rather than not see her for weeks then that's the most important thing right now. Any nonsense off the DM and he can reassess the situation then. Better at least to try rather than some poor child laying there thinking her dad doesn't give a shit about her.

Yes I am a step mum, no I don't get on with my DSC's mum.

IfOnly4OneDay it's not about op going though is it, it's about her post asking if the dad should go see his daughter while she is ill or wait potentially a good couple of weeks.

Not sure why it is narrow minded to think a father should visit his ill child.

All I meant was that sometimes there is more to it and it's not just as simple as 'yes of course'
Sorry, was just having a rant as it wouldn't be as simple as that in our situation ??

I can't see a problem with it tbh. The mum is clearly willing to let him in so he should put their differences aside for now ( and I say this as a step mum who is usually agog at the step mum and nrp father bashing that goes on on here)

It's clear that the mother doesn't like the idea and likely hoping he would turn it down but she's reluctantly and grudgingly doing it for her daughter. She sees that her daughter wants and needs to see her father during this period of illness. She's trying to be the bigger person for their daughter's sake. He should too.

Actually I disagree with most people here - I think the girl should decide where she wants to be and who looks after her. If she is prepared to do the journey or maybe stay a week with daddy, then she should.

I don't think I'd want my child to make their own decisions about what was right for them while they are Ill at that age. 12 year olds need parents to make the choice.

D never have dragged my ill SS on a two hour journey just to see his dad and me. His recovery would have been more important. In this case I think the mother has been good in inviting him to visit, and I would think that the father would want to. Everyone should be able to bite their tongues for a short visit, surely? Things like this occasionally make the father and mother's relationship a bit easier in the future (if you're lucky!).