I would be interested in some opinions on this situation.
DSD is 16yo, I have been in her life since she was 7. She used to come every 2nd weekend to visit, DH doing all pick ups and drop offs. Over the last 18 months or so this this has waned to about once a month, then every 6 weeks, and now we have not seen her since Christmas. She does a competitive sport which takes up much of her time and is also studying for GCSEs, DH doesn't put pressure on, but will ask when can we see you next etc. but she is very busy at the moment and hasn't committed to any date this year.
We really miss her but I understand this is part and parcel of her age and to be expected to a certain extent.
She often doesn't respond to his texts or answer calls, however he does not text or phone her as often as I think he should. They can easily go a couple of weeks without speaking. He is not on any social media and is not really aware of her competitions etc or what is going on in her life. (He has asked for a schedule of the competitions numerous times)
In the past he has relied on her visits to catch up with her, rather than phoning or texting regularly, but now they are few and far between. He seems to think she should contact him too now she's older. I think it's up to him to take the lead.
My question however is this - would I be undermining DH to contact her more frequently myself? We are 'friends' on facebook and she always seems to pick up my messages quickly and cheerfully. I feel inclined to message her more often but it feels odd for me to be giving him the updates of what she's doing. Do I leave it for him to take the lead, or forge ahead independently?