thank you step mums

[cherryredcola]

I lurk on here sometimes as more at home on lone parent board.

Just want to say thank you step mums!

After a year, I can honestly say I have grown to like my dd step mum, its the little things like making sure I had a mothers day card, brushing her hair gently, getting her favourites for tea that make all the difference. My ex is still about as much use as a chocolate t pot, but thanks to this lady who I never wanted to be part of either of our lives, I can relax and know that when im not there, she is. And that makes things a bit easier.

I think lots of you do a fab job, and although I always say thanks I think its such a shame that so many of you have battles with the OP. I must say that sometimes reading your struggles makes me see it from the step mum side and it gives me a reality check when I can see myself being unreasonable xxx

Wow, cherry, what a lovely post.

I have visited the lone parents' board occasionally for probably the same reasons that you have dropped into step parents' board. It can provide insight into the issues, challenges and wishes of RPs- which I hope help make me a better step mum.

Thanks so much for sharing such positive feedback.

Agree - what a lovely post

Most of us do our best to be a good SM and put the children first, but there is still quite a bit of prejudice out there that assumes a SM is automatically evil

Totally agree, my DD has a fab stepmum. She treats her as her own and that means telling her off as well as loving her. She has an older DD of her own so she's been there and done that, experience counts.

DD spends lots of time with her during access visits and they have lots of girly time.

i hope my DSD DM can feel like this about me one day

Aww you guys :)
cherry have you told her, your DD's stepmum?
If my DSD's mum said something like that to be I would be over the moon.

What a lovely post! I find the MIL/DIL and grandparent posts on here really useful for a reality check. Always helpful to be able to see the other person's point of view.

Cherry I wish that you were my DH's ex! What a lovely thing to say. Tell her. She will love you for it and it can only make things even better.

My DSD's mum was kind enough to thank me for being a good SM.

It meant a lot

I always thank dds step mum. She's fantastic and all the more awesome for the fact she doesn't even have her own kids. I couldn't do what she does.

My god, a positive and pleasant post from a BM. Well done cherryredcola, and thanks so much for writing this. I wish that my partner's ex was like you. Do tell your ex's partner, she would be over the moon.

Dd's stepmum and I were just having a text conversation about dd who is having quite an emotional time at the moment. She went to their house today and didn't want me to leave but when I did she asked to talk to stepmum in private as she couldn't talk to her dad. The two of them snuggled in bed and watched s film together. That's stepmum's evening gone on helping a child she's got no responsibility to and making an amazing stand in while I wasn't there. On one hand I'm so grateful, on the other hand I'm so sad that my dsd could never enjoy that kind of relationship with me because of the bitterness her mother passed on to her.

thats really nice....i have been a step mum for four years and my dsd (aged 10) has just come to live with us, we are on day 4 now, for the foreseeable future due to alcoholism issues with the mother.....it has been a massive shock for all of us and we are all learning.

my best mate called me "super mum" yesterday and it made me cry, i am stronger today and your post has made me smile, thank you

I take my hat off to all you SM's (especially the ones without DC of their own) who manage to cope with having young DSC living with them! If you've lived for any length of time with your DP's only having his DC weekends etc, to suddenly have them with you 24/7 must be one hell of a shock to the dynamic of the household!! Pretty sure I couldn't have coped, and mightily glad I was never tested! Well done all of you who successfully blend your families!

I am also grateful to DS' SM. She is the one that says 'no' to living on chocolate and continuous computer games and genuinely has DS' best interests at heart. I have no idea what life would be like for DS at his dad's without her. I told her as much last night!

I don't know my kids step-mum well, but from what I have been able to gather, I don't think she is someone I would ever want to be friends with. However, I have to say that she is a really good step-mum to my children. She is both caring and attentive but without wanting to take a parental role with them. For instance, she has never come (or asked to come) to a parent evening, however, she will ask them how they are doing, encourage them, get them books to help etc... Same with health, she has never been to a doctor/hosp appointment, but she will query about them, show an interest. She doesn't discipline them, but is rightly firm with them, for instance, expecting them to help around the house. She talks to them as if she considers them part of her family, so for instance, her parents/siblings will treat them as such.

Things have been difficult in the past for various reasons, but I have to say that I am massively thankful she is my kids's step-mum.

What a lovely thing to read. Usually on here stepmothers are assumed to be the 'other women' responsible for marriages ending or unwelcome interlopers in children's lives. Very refreshing to see something so positive

Really nice to see something positive, I came on here signed up as I'm about to embark on full time step-mummy hood and felt nervous about posting after reading some posts - not all parents are created equally be they biological parents, step parents or adoptive parents

My situation I think is a bit different to most as the biological mother is VERY absent from her children's lives, dad has full custody biological mum sees the children once in a blue moon on her dedicated weekend if she feels like it. Was scared to ask for help as i suddenly felt reading through that I must have green hair, all sorts of warts and a big black cape... But feel like I can ask for some help now so thank you!