Tired of this

[Themrmen]

Feeling pissed off dss here over weekend and was given Easter egg by his aunt (as was my ds and dsd) all fine, except noticed on Sunday my ds egg missing turns out dss had eaten the whole thing, no reason had his own just to he spiteful (at Xmas he ate the last few doors on ds advent calander) ds is to little to know anything now, but sick of having ridiculous arguments and problems all the time, dp told off dss but this latest in a long line if things with dsc and in laws to do with dsc and ds, seems to have totally deflated me, just tired of it. How do you keep dusting yourself off and keep going? The dusting is getting harder. I adore my dp and don't want this to after us

Affect not after. Sorry tired

How old are they all?

I hope Dss had his egg taken away from him? A consequence, not just a telling off.

How old are they all? I think ss should be made to replace ds egg. its not on doing that and I'm sure wouldn't have been well received if it had been the other way around.

Dss is 9, ds is 1, by the time I noticed he was already home otherwise the egg would have been taken, his mum said as happened at our house our problem so won't confiscate any of his eggs. Although when he's being naughty at her house she rings do to speak to dss or if either are being punished ie no iPad we carry it on at ours as requested, but that's a different matter I suppose

You have a 9 year old trying to communicate through his behaviour.

He is not doing it to be spiteful.

He is getting used to a new sibling being around, and one that gets to live with his Dad full time.

He needs reassurance and a chance to talk about what it is he is feeling.

Mum is absolutely right to stay out of it. Dad needs to be dealing with this.

He may be communicating through his behaviour but there still need to be consequences! If not, you're in for bigger problems later on. And if consequences continue in your house they should at his mum's. I feel for you and no, I'm not a step parent.

Do you give him pocket money at all? If you do, I'd make him go and buy DS a replacement out of it. Especially if he knew it was DS's when he ate it. At 9 he is old enough to understand.

I just think the DSS is behaving like a brat because many adults in his life have made him feel like he's superior over his little brother.

Agreed and he needs to have it made clear next time he visits. No iPad, for example. If you don't stop this now it will get worse.

Oh yes, definitely the nicking the chocolate needs to be dealt with in an appropriate way. Alongside a chat to find out what is troubling him.

He isn't being spiteful and he isn't a brat.

I'd be making him replace it. The family set up is how it is he can't behave that way regardless and it needs stopping.

We had talked to him about it at Xmas, and actually apt before hand because he behaviour has gotten worse here and at home. I also don't see why the ex shouldn't have carried out any punishment ie taking his egg, when she phones dp whenever dss is naughty to speak to him or asks us to carry on punishments from her home, why should it be different the other way around? I don't think he has underlining problems I think he is just being naughty and using ds as a tool. At Xmas his excuse was oh I wanted chocolate. Both dsc are heavily favoured by dps family over my ds and it is very obvious, ds is treated as second best. Dp does give him pocket money I'll speak to him about that tonight

Why would i do what??? I didn't call my dss spiteful to him, I called him spiteful on here. You seem to be somehow implying that I did something to make him steal chocolate

he did something wrong so he gets a punishment whether it be replacing it or losing I pad time. I would do the same here if it was ss, sd or ds who had taken it.