Just wanted to share some positivity

[Tanjuna]

I've been lurking on this board for a while now, and had such a nice experience with my littlest DSD this weekend I just had to share to add some positivity to the board.

We were driving along chatting about visiting my family in another county and she pipes up from the back seat "but it's okay, you don't need to miss them because we're your family now" it took a lot of strength not to shed a happy tear!

There are SO many positives to step-parenting and I wouldn't change my experiences or decisions for the world, if anyone on here is feeling down, just focus on the moments like these and it suddenly all becomes worth it!

You are obviously fortunate, some SParents, have no good experiences at all, although I wouldn't class myself quite in that category! I'm happy for you!

That is so sweet! I'd have definitely shed a tear. And a positive thread to boot. Lovely. Can we tempt you out of lurkdome ?

That is really sweet. All I get when family is mentioned is "yeah but you're not a xxx" insert step kids surname as appropriate. It's not said viciously but it makes it very clear that no matter what I do for them or give up for them they will always consider me to be the outsider. They have no idea how hurtful they're being.

My 7yo was feeding sd doll and said to my husband (his stepdad ) I'm just practicing to be a a good daddy like xx (dh name) because he is the best daddy in the world. My dh was so happy all day he got a little tear of joy. sd cries when I leave her home clinging round my neck ( awful for mummy I know) but in a selfish way I love that she loves me as I do her.

I do feel very lucky, it isn't always like that though! It's very much a game of balance, when it gets difficult we've just got to remember all the wonderful moments and realise that being a step-parent can acutally be worth it!

Sonny1 - You've got it in one, you have to remind yourself all too often that your DSC(s) have no idea how their actions affect you! I get "I don't love you as much as I love Daddy" to which I respond "Good, you're not meant to love anyone else as much as Mummy and Daddy!" and 5 minutes later they're back to being my best friend!

Youngest dsd is like this. She's now a 15yo young lady but I've been stepmum for 12 yrs. She jokingly refers to me as 'Stepmonster', knowing full well that we get on great (she compares me favourably to her friends' stepmums) and frequently tells me she loves me. She's also started buying me cards/ chocolates for mother's day/ birthdays without any reminders from dh.

My oldest SD (20) who moved out at 18 to live with her boyfriend has recently started adding 'love you loads' to the end of her texts. And she text me on my birthday this year! This time last year I was feeling defeated as neither of my 2 DSDs had wished me happy birthday (they never had in the 5 years we've lived together) and when I'd tell them I loved them I got nothing in return. The difference a year year makes in maturity! I cried when I got her text. I'd kind of resigned myself to the fact that being a SP would mean I'd remain forever taken for granted, unnoticed and not really part of the family.